


The Dark Side of Your Heart

by Bootsncatz (bootsncatz), thegaynerd



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Protective Wynonna Earp, Wayhaught - Freeform, Wynonna Earp theory fic, season three speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-05-31 18:32:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15125411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootsncatz/pseuds/Bootsncatz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegaynerd/pseuds/thegaynerd
Summary: Waverly is kidnapped by Bulshar and its up to Wynonna and Nicole to save her. During the rescue, aspects of Nicole's dark past start to come out. A season 3 speculation fic that no one asked for.





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> So here's a little speculation fic that me and Boots have written for your enjoyment (we hope). It's based off of a theory I had some weeks ago and roped Boots into writing with me. I'm super stoked to be collaborating with one of my favorite humans again!
> 
> In this chapter Nicole's biggest secret comes to light when her past finally catches up with her but everyone will pay the price. No one more than Waverly. 
> 
> A special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Anyways...We hope you like it!

Nicole opened the car door for Waverly, a bright smile spreading across her face at the sight of her girlfriend looking back at her from the passenger seat. She was all bundled in a thick coat, cheeks rosy from the warmth of the heater she had made Nicole blast on their way back from the restaurant.

****

“It’s cold,” Waverly said, undoing her seat belt but not moving from the car. Nicole smiled and stepped forward, hips pressed against the car seat and a hand settling on Waverly’s knee.

****

“How about you come inside and I’ll warm you up then,” Nicole offered with an easy grin.

****

Waverly’s smile crinkled her eyes and she slid her hand over Nicole’s.

****

“Promise?” Waverly said as she slowly leaned closer to Nicole.

****

“Promise.”

****

“Deal,” Waverly agreed, pressing her lips to Nicole’s. She melted into the kiss, no matter how brief. Waverly’s fingers, cold despite the hot air in the car, cupped Nicole’s cheek and kept their faces close as they pulled away.

****

Waverly’s hands always seemed to be cold. At night she would slip her hands under Nicole’s shirt and send chills up her spine. But she wouldn’t dare push her away. Instead she pulled Waverly closer, covering her hands with her own to warm her up.

****

“Thank you for dinner,” Waverly said with a delighted smile. Nicole leaned into the hand on her cheek.

****

“I love you, Waves,” Nicole whispered. It was a non sequitur and seemingly out of place in the conversation. But it never felt wrong to speak those words aloud. It could never be wrong. Something so simple wrapped up in complications. Because it was so simple, wasn’t it?

****

Nicole was very logical. She always had been and always would be. And this was simple logic. She loved Waverly Earp. And Waverly Earp loved her back. People always put so much weight in those three words, but there was nothing to it once you realized it was real.

****

“I love you too,” Waverly answered with practiced ease.

****

Nicole’s heart fluttered like an injured bird in her chest. She ducked her head and looked up at Waverly through her lashes. Waverly tilted her head against the headrest and shook her head.

****

“How do you do that?” she asked, thumb brushing over Nicole’s cheekbone.

****

Nicole’s brow furrowed for the briefest of moments. For a moment panic twinged in her chest. A familiar feeling for someone hiding secrets before realizing that they’re fine...safe.

****

“Do what?”

****

“Make me fall more in love with you every day,” Waverly said kissing Nicole lightly again. “I’m just so lucky.”

****

Nicole shook her head. “I’m sure everyone would agree that I’m the lucky one.”

****

Waverly rolled her eyes playfully. “Always the charmer,” she said patting Nicole’s cheek affectionately. “Now take me inside so we can get to dessert.”

****

Waverly winked and Nicole felt her cheeks tint, a smirk lighting up her face.

****

“Oh really?” Nicole said wrapping her arms around Waverly’s waist, Waverly turning so they were chest to chest. Her legs wrapped around Nicole’s hips and brought them flush together, Waverly’s arms looping around Nicole’s neck.

****

Nicole grabbed the back of Waverly’s thighs and lifted her up. Waverly squealed and held tighter to Nicole, their foreheads coming together as they smiled. Nicole held Waverly tight against her and closed the car door before starting towards her house. The fresh snow crunched under her boots and all she could see was Waverly Earp. Smiling at her in her arms as she walked up to her porch.

****

Grabbing for the keys in her pocket, Nicole never lost her grip as Waverly held her own weight up with her strong thighs around Nicole’s waist. Still, she pressed Waverly’s back to her front door as she unlocked it, their eyes barely leaving each other. Waverly leaned forward and started pressing soft kisses along Nicole’s jaw which admittedly...did make it slightly harder to concentrate.

****

Nicole finally unlocked the door just as Waverly pulled her earlobe between her teeth. She practically threw her keys into the bowl by her door and walked over to her couch, hands still gripping Waverly by her thighs as she tipped her back onto the couch. Nicole expected Waverly to loosen her grip and slide down easily, but instead she still had Nicole tightly around the waist with her fingers twisted in the front of her shirt.

****

Nicole chuckled and kissed her, arms stiff to keep her hovering over Waverly.

****

“Baby, let me take my coat off,” Nicole said placing soft kisses all over Waverly’s face. Her girlfriend giggled, trying to capture Nicole’s lips with her own but missing.

****

“I can take it off for you,” Waverly offered. Her gaze suddenly darted over Nicole’s shoulder, fear washing over them and the smile melting off her face. Nicole frowned, her stomach twisting just before she felt something hit her hard in the head. Stars burst in front of her eyes, warm pain exploding against the left side of her skull as her body crumbled and she went falling to the floor.

****

“Nicole! No! Get away you shit tickets!”

****

Nicole blinked slowly. It felt like she was underwater. Everything was muffled and there was a loud ringing inside her head. She groaned and tried to look up. She saw someone big and burly with a hood over their face pulling Waverly off the couch. Waverly kicked and punched at him, using every bit of muscle in her tiny body to try and fight the faceless man.

****

A low chuckle came from somewhere behind Nicole that sent a chill straight up her spine. Her hands curled into fists against the wood of the floor and she used every ounce of strength she had left to push herself up from the floor. Immediately she turned and swung her fist in the direction of the laughter but her fist was stopped mid-swing, and she felt a hard punch to her stomach that knocked the air out of her lungs. She doubled over in pain and distantly over the ringing in her head she could hear Waverly screaming as she was pushed onto her knees by her shoulder.

****

She struggled against the hand holding her down but another swift punch to the gut sent her face down on the floor again, coughing and sputtering. Boots appeared on the floor in front of her and Nicole looked up, anger and dread spreading through her chest.

****

“Carmen,” Nicole hissed at the woman standing in front of her. Just as tall and devastatingly beautiful as the last time Nicole saw her. Smooth tan skin and dark hair that matched her eyes. Nicole felt sick just looking at the smug look on the other woman’s face. “What the fuck do you want?”

****

Carmen tilted her head, arms crossed in front of her chest. “Huh. I don’t remember you being this naive.”

****

Nicole looked around quickly. There was the one man restraining Waverly who was still struggling even with a rag stuffed in her mouth to muffle her screaming. Then there was someone behind her, heavy hand pulling her back to her knees by the collar of her shirt.

****

Carmen took the few steps closer to her so she was standing right in front of Nicole. She bent down, their faces close as Carmen squinted at her.

****

“Still beautiful though,” she said softly, using the back of her hand to caress Nicole’s cheek. The anger in her chest exploded and she lunged at Carmen. But the hand keeping her down yanked her back to her knees. Carmen chuckled and straightened back up.

****

“Leave her alone,” Nicole hissed as the man dragged Waverly behind Carmen. Her eyes were wide, fear evident in them and it broke her heart. Nicole ached to reach for her but the hand on her neck reminded her she would have to be smart about it. She couldn’t just swing her way out of this one.

****

“Oh, this one?” Carmen said pointing over her shoulder at Waverly. “I mean, I can’t say I blame you, Nicky. She’s a cute little thing, isn’t she?”

****

“If you hurt so much as a hair on her head-“

****

“Boys,” Carmen interrupted with a casual flick of her wrist. A meaty hand caught the side of Nicole’s head and she went tumbling to the ground again. She moved to get up, earning herself a swift kick to the ribs. Another fist caught her nose and warmth spread over her face. It felt like she was drowning. She coughed and felt blood splatter.

****

The corners of her vision started to get blurry as she reached feebly for Waverly. Carmen knelt down next to Nicole, blocking her view of Waverly as Nicole fought against falling into the darkness.

****

“Remember,” Carmen whispered, evil grin on her face, “you did this.”

****

There was another sharp pain to her head. Then darkness.

****

***

****

A stubborn optimism had lived in Nicole’s chest lately. The widows were gone and, sure, there was a danger on the horizon. But when wasn’t there? They had gone through hell and came out on the other side stronger for it.

****

Alice was gone. But she’d be back. Nicole knew it.

****

She sat in her police cruiser, the file and ring in her hand feeling heavier than it should have.

****

< _I >Bulshar’s Cult</I> _

****

The words stood stark on the file and Nicole closed the folder, coldness flooding through her veins. She looked outside her cruiser and saw Waverly sitting next to Jeremy, laughing and carefree. For now.

****

Nicole got out of the car, a smile lighting up her face as Waverly’s eyes met her own. The file and ring lay forgotten on her passenger seat. For now. She walked up to Waverly and leaned down to kiss her gently.

****

She was going to break this curse. She was going to end all of this. For Waverly. If it was the last thing she did.

****

***

****

“Nicole! Wynonna!” Waverly screamed. The cold snow against her back stung as she was dragged somewhere.

****

“Ugh, shut _up_ ,” the man that was dragging her huffed. “I should have drugged you again.”

****

Waverly panicked and kicked her feet but he remained unfazed, holding her legs like she weighed nothing. She twisted her body a little, head still thick from the rag they put over her face to knock her out before she woke up being dragged across the snow. The last thing she remembered was Nicole, face battered and bloody as she laid helplessly on the floor of her living room.

****

Her chest ached and she kicked harder. Her captor sighed in exasperation and stopped, pulling a rag from his back pocket.

****

“No!” Waverly screamed, punching at him. But he just swatted her hands away and held the rag down over her face. She scratched at the mask covering his face and he pulled back, cursing, but not before she blacked out and fell limply back in the snow.

****

***

****

When she woke back up, Waverly couldn’t see. At first she panicked, worried that she was blindfolded. But slowly her vision started to clear and suddenly she wished for a blindfold.

****

Her hands were chained above her head in a room that was an odd shade of red. There were tables with tools laid out upon them, and dark stains on the floor that looked far too much like blood for her liking.

****

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She tried to wrack her brain for a hint...anything that might tip her off to where she was and _why_  she was here, but still all she could see was Nicole on the floor. Her mind was still cloudy from whatever they’d used to knock her out and her head hurt like a bitch. She tried to stay calm but panic rose in her throat like bile.

****

A door opened somewhere and Waverly opened her eyes wide, searching in the darkness for whomever her visitor was. She swallowed a painful lump in her throat and tried to set her face to appear as neutral as possible.

****

“Come out, you coward!” she called, tugging against the chains binding her wrists.

****

There was a deep chuckle and a tall woman walked slowly out of the shadows. Waverly recognized her as one of the ones who’d broken into Nicole’s house and she clenched her hands into fists. She remembered the disturbing familiarity between her and Nicole and couldn’t help but think how she looked similar to Shae. A realization she wasn’t ready to acknowledge twinged in Waverly’s brain but she pushed it away.

****

“Let me out,” Waverly said firmly. “Let me out now if you don’t want my sister and girlfriend to kick your ass.”

****

The woman chuckled again and Waverly’s anger rose. She looked at the table of tools as her captor walked past them, fingers grazing lovingly over them. Waverly’s heart was in her throat when she picked up a bone saw and looked at it.

****

“You really believe that, huh?” she said looking over at Waverly.

****

“I know it,” Waverly practically growled, “you’re gonna regret messing with an Earp.”

****

The other woman squinted at her for a moment and just hummed dismissively. She ran her finger over the edge of the saw and walked towards Waverly.

****

“Now now, Waverly, we’re going to have fun,” the woman said standing barely a foot away from Waverly. Waverly’s eyes darted briefly towards the saw and she scoffed.

****

“I hope you don’t think I’m scared by that,” she said, “I’ve already had my hand cut off once.”

****

The woman frowned, looking actually intrigued. “And you grew it back? Yourself?”

****

“Yep,” Waverly said smugly, “well...sort of. Mostly.”

****

The woman nodded slowly, pursing her lips. “You don’t know how special you are, do you?”

****

Waverly frowned. “What are you talking about? Who are you?”

****

“Well, you can call me Carmen,” she said putting a hand on her chest, “And I can’t believe you don’t know.”

****

Waverly rolled her eyes. “This whole mysterious thing you’re trying to do really isn’t working for me,” she said, “What’s going on here?”

****

“You have a gift,” Carmen whispered, eyes shining bright. “And we're going to bring it out of you.”

****

“No, thanks,” Waverly said as nonchalantly as she could with her hands chained over her head. “Wynonna and Nicole will be here any moment anyways.”

****

Carmen actually laughed and shook her head. “Oh, you sweet, naive, little thing. You know nothing.”

****

Anger and fear balled in her chest and Waverly considered kicking at Carmen. But the saw held in the other woman’s hand didn’t exactly inspire confidence that she’d be getting out of here alive. Plus, Nicole and Wynonna would be here at any moment. It was inevitable.

****

“I know more than you think,” Waverly said firmly.

****

Carmen smiled, sickly and sweet. It sent a chill up Waverly’s spine as she stepped close, their faces inches apart.

****

“Oh, darling, we’re going to have so much fun.”

****

***

****

Sunlight streamed through the window and Nicole had her head propped on Waverly’s shoulder as she looked down at her sleeping girlfriend. She brushed some hair back from her face and Waverly sighed in her sleep. Happiness flooded her chest as her fingers trailed lightly over Waverly’s bare shoulder.

****

The still healing scar on her arm caught the light, raised and twisted. A phantom ache burned warmly through her forearm as she remembered the words she heard as she passed out from blood loss.

****

_You have a darkness in your veins. It tastes good._

****

Nicole felt consciousness seep back into her brain and she realized she wasn’t in bed with Waverly. She was on the floor of her living room. Her cheek rested in something sticky. Her own blood. She groaned and tried to move but everything hurt.

****

What happened? She wracked her brain, trying to gather her thoughts through the pain. Suddenly she remembered and her stomach twisted.

****

_Carmen._

****

She had Waverly.

****

Nicole sat up, the world swimming around her and a sharp pain in her ribs making her cry out. She spit more blood onto the floor and she clutched her head, hair matted and sticky with blood.

****

“Fuck,” she groaned. She allowed herself to breath for a moment, to feel the pain. But a moment was all she had. She had to save Waverly. She had to tell Wynonna and get her girlfriend back. So Nicole pushed herself to her feet and stumbled towards her keys in the bowl.

****

Darkness bloomed in front of her eyes and she gritted her teeth against the pain. But she pushed through it. Waverly. She was all she could think about as she pulled herself into her truck and started it. And it was all she needed to keep her going.

****

***

****

Nicole was sure she had blacked out again halfway to the Homestead. She pulled up to the front and threw the car into park so fast she felt the gears grind under her. It didn’t matter. She needed to tell Wynonna. They needed to get Waverly back.

****

She pounded on the front door, one arm over her stomach as if it would ease the pain in her ribs. Wynonna threw the door open, Peacemaker casually raised at her side. She frowned when she saw Nicole and holstered the weapon.

****

“Shit, Haught, what cat dragged you in?”

****

“Waverly,” Nicole said, voice gravelly, “They have her-“

****

“Who?” Wynonna asked as something stormy came over her face.

****

“Bulshar,” Nicole said, the sickness in her stomach twisting and morphing. “They took her.”

****

“Where? Why?” Wynonna asked, frustration and determination raising in her voice.

****

“I know where they’re taking her,” Nicole said, hoping Wynonna wouldn’t inquire as to _how_  she knew, “Let’s go. I’ll tell you everything in the car.”

****

Wynonna nodded before ducking back into the house. Nicole stood impatiently on the outside until Wynonna came back, tossing a pill bottle at her. Nicole caught it and looked at the label. Vicodin.

****

“I can’t take these,” Nicole said with a shake of her head, “They aren’t prescribed to me.”

****

“Now is not the time to be honorable,” Wynonna scoffed, shrugging her coat on and heading towards her truck. “We have to save our girl and you can barely stand.”

****

Nicole followed Wynonna to the car and slid in with a grunt. Wynonna shot her a look as she started the car and Nicole relented. She tipped a couple of pills into her hand and swallowed them dry.

****

“Atta girl,” Wynonna said approvingly, peeling out of the Homestead. “Where to?”

****

“Salt flats,” Nicole said tucking the bottle into her pocket.

****

“Of fucking course,” Wynonna said taking the familiar road.

****

***

****

“A boy man? Yep, I’ve been there,” Nicole said with her fingers hooked over her belt as she sauntered out from behind the bar. “It’s the worst.”

****

Nicole kept her eye contact with Waverly as she picked up her hat and dropped her business card oh so slyly on the counter top. “Okay, well, some other time.” She watched the way Waverly smiled, slow and shy and distracted. “I mean it.”

****

She dropped her hat onto her head and made sure to look over her shoulder, deciding a wink might be too much for this situation so she kept to her smirk instead as she walked out. Nicole held herself confidently, even as she walked out of the bar doors, leaving a clearly flustered Waverly behind. She smirked to herself and adjusted the hat on her head.

****

Waverly had bought the whole thing hook line and sinker. It shouldn’t be a problem getting her away from that gross boyfriend of hers.

****

Nicole walked away from the bar and pulled her phone out, dialing a familiar number. It only rang a couple of times before a honey sweet voice answered.

****

“Hello?”

****

“Carmen?”  

****

“How’d it go?”

****

“Everything’s in place. She’ll be ours soon,” Nicole said, even as something thick and sick settled in her stomach.

****

“Perfect. Bulshar will rise.”

****

“He will rise,” Nicole agreed with a small smile.

****

Carmen chuckled. “You will be rewarded for this, Nicole.”

****

Nicole just nodded, ignoring the gentle burning starting up in her forearm. She fiddled with her sleeve for a moment before she dared to broach the topic she really cared about.

****

“And...Shae?”

****

“She’s safe. Your sacrifice won’t be forgotten.”

****

Nicole let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Finally, she answered. “My sacrifice is for him. Praise Bulshar.”


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! And happy 4th of July to the American Earpers!
> 
> So here it is...chapter 2. My turn to give you all the feels (I hope).
> 
> In this chapter a few more of Nicole's secrets come out and we get a little more back story. I hope you're ready. 
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for writing this with me and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy you amazing humans!

Waverly startled awake, her eyes snapping open. For a brief moment, she had forgotten where she was until her eyes started to focus. The room came into view again. Her arms ached from where they were chained above her head. The shackles were tight around her wrists, leaving the faintest of bruises.

 

Her face felt tender around her bruised eye and her lip felt split. She slid her tongue over the crack, tasting blood. Her head was pounding. How long had she been here...a few hours? Maybe a day? She’d spent most of her time drifting in and out of consciousness, or in a hazy daze of confusion.

 

All Waverly could remember was being flooded with questions. She desperately wanted to give them answers to make the beatings stop. Waverly knew they wanted answers, answers she couldn’t give. The questioning always ended the same way: hard fists applied to her face and abdomen.

 

In between the beatings and the barrage of questions, Waverly was left alone with time to think. Her mind raced, slowly piecing together what she already knew. Waverly didn’t know who her captors were or what it was they wanted with her. They weren’t Revenants, that much she did know. They knew about her family, but who didn’t know about the Earps? Then... there was Nicole. Carmen clearly knew Nicole and Nicole certainly knew her. Waverly couldn’t dismiss how familiar they both seemed around one another. She had ignored the obvious. She finally pinpointed what was nagging her. Carmen looked a lot like Shae.

 

Waverly shook her head. Trying to rid her mind of those thoughts for the millionth time. She had to focus. Find out as much as she possibly could before Wynonna came crashing through the door, Peacemaker in hand, and going all _Wynonna_.

 

There weren’t many details to go on. The only thing she’d noticed was some kind of tattoo or mark on the tall man’s left forearm as he punched her repeatedly. She’d focused on it trying to identify it as a way to block out the pain. The symbol looked so familiar, but Waverly just couldn’t place it. She had committed it to memory trying to recall every illustration in each ancient text and scroll she’d read but she just couldn’t remember where she had seen it before.

 

Waverly growled in frustration.

 

Carmen stepped out of the shadows with an amused look on her face, slowly making her way over to the center of the room towards Waverly.

 

“You,” Waverly observed drily, unimpressed.

 

“Me,“ Carmen agreed gesturing to herself, a smug look on her face.

 

Carmen cupped Waverly’s chin between her index finger and her thumb and turned it from left to right, shaking her head ever so slightly. That smug grin was still on her face.

 

“Our friend has made quite a mess of that pretty face of yours hasn’t he?”

 

Waverly pulled her face away from Carmen’s grip. “Like I said before...I’ve been through worse,” Waverly said, hoping Carmen couldn’t hear the tremor in her voice, “You’re going to need to try harder than that.”

 

Carmen chuckled and walked over to one of the tables, eyeing the tools on it before looking back over her shoulder at Waverly. “Oh, darling, we’ve barely begun,” she sneered, her fingers tracing over something Waverly couldn’t see.

 

Fear shot up Waverly’s spine and she swallowed the thickness in her throat, trying to keep her face neutral. Carmen turned to face Waverly, leaning back on the table on her hands but not saying anything. Waverly shifted on her feet uncomfortably, as much as the chains would allow and rolled her wrists, suddenly feeling exposed under the other woman's gaze.

 

“It’s a shame,” Carmen said pausing briefly, “living in your sister’s shadow for so long, but never knowing your own true potential.”

 

“My sister’s-?” Waverly furrowed her brow for a moment, her mind slowly fitting the pieces together. Was Carmen talking about the curse? Or was it some sort of trick? She didn’t know much about Carmen but she didn’t strike Waverly as someone who made mistakes.

 

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a long time now, Waverly, running around with your sister while she plays the hero with her special gun,” Carmen said dismissively.

 

Anger rose in Waverly’s chest and she bit the inside of her lip, trying to keep her emotions down. “Wynonna doesn’t need to _play_ anything,” she said in a low voice.

 

Carmen burst out laughing. She pushed herself off of the table, stalking closer towards Waverly and coming to a stop when they were nose to nose, her face suddenly hard and unreadable.

 

“If you only knew the truth about your precious Nicole,” she sneered.

 

Waverly lunged forward as Carmen backed away, the chains holding her in place as her body shook in anger. Just hearing the way Carmen said Nicole’s name sent jealousy coursing through her veins, sending questions swirling around in her head again. It all felt far too familiar for Waverly to stomach.

 

“You don’t know anything about Nicole!” Waverly shouted.

 

“Nicole told me you were the smart one,” Carmen laughed before she turned to walk away.

 

Hot rage erupted through Waverly’s body and she found herself unable to hold back her emotions anymore. She knew the other woman was only trying to get under her skin but she couldn’t hold back. Part of her almost thankful she was tied up.

 

“You don’t know anything!” she shouted again, fighting against the chains.

 

Carmen nodded to someone behind Waverly. Before Waverly could turn to see what was coming, she felt a sharp pain to the back of her head and everything went dark.

 

***

 

Nicole stopped dead in her tracks, letting the wooden door to Shorty’s swing shut behind her. Her head was swimming with thoughts of Waverly. Waverly’s perfume lingering and clouding her senses. Nicole took in a few deep breaths to clear her head and quench the jealousy coursing through her veins after seeing Champ draped over Waverly.

 

All she was supposed to do was ask Waverly a few questions and report back to Carmen. That's it. That look on Waverly’s face and how it broke Nicole’s heart? That had nothing to do with anything. No-- that would be stupid. It wasn’t like she had feelings for Waverly. This was an assignment and it was all going so well until that stupid boy-man showed up and ruined everything. Honestly, she would love nothing more than to punch that stupid smug face of his. The way he lurked around Waverly and touched her like he _owned_ her. Champ only gave a shit about himself while everyone else around him mourned the man that had saved his life.  

 

Okay, so maybe Nicole was a little jealous but that was fine. They’d become friends since their first meeting a few weeks ago. Kind of. Sure Nicole wasn’t here to make a friend but there was something just so...easy about being around Waverly that she couldn’t stay away. Waverly was one of the few people that had actually made Nicole feel welcome since she had moved to Purgatory. There was just something about the way Waverly looked at her that made the whole world seem to disappear around them. But Waverly had reached for her and Nicole felt her heart beat a little harder in her chest and she just had to get out of there. The questions could wait. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t see Waverly again...she wanted to see Waverly again.

 

“Shit,” Nicole cursed under her breath letting her head drop forward and closing her eyes.

 

She knew how this went. It wasn’t the first time she’d found herself attracted to a straight girl. That’s all it was. Yet there was something in the back of Nicole’s mind that she really didn’t want to think about too much right now.

 

Nicole shook her head and pushed down her emotions. She had to get back in the game; she couldn’t go back empty-handed again. Everything was riding on Nicole succeeding this time around...Carmen wouldn’t be so forgiving a second time. Whether she loved Nicole or not.

 

Nicole hissed in pain, rubbing her fingers against the sudden burning sensation she felt along her forearm. It hadn’t done that since-

 

Unbuttoning her cuff as quickly as she could, her fingers stumbling a little as she did, Nicole rolled up her sleeve and turned her arm wrist up in time to watch her mark fading away until it was barely visible anymore. She ran her fingers over it, tracing the outline with her fingertip. Panic shot through Nicole and she yanked her sleeve down covering it up again.

 

_Not again._

 

This had happened before. After she had met Shae and they had started dating. When everything seemed to be much lighter. When Nicole had felt truly happy for the first time in a long time.

 

Now it was happening again the more she got to know Waverly.

 

Nicole marched over to her cruiser and slid inside, slamming the door behind her in the hopes that it would shut everything out. She couldn’t have feelings for Waverly. It just made everything far too complicated and she couldn’t risk Carmen finding out about it. Not after what happened with Shae. No, it was fine. She was fine. She was in love with Carmen.

 

Something caught Nicole’s attention out of the corner of her eye and she looked over to see Waverly hugging her sister goodbye. Nicole couldn't help but stare at her like a lovesick puppy, unable to pull her eyes away. Waverly spotted Nicole and gave her a small sad smile waving at her before she made her way back into Shorty’s.

 

“Fuck,” Nicole muttered under her breath, letting her head drop onto the steering wheel.

 

Nicole’s phone started ringing, knocking her out of her thoughts. She reached into the breast pocket of her uniform and pulled it out, checking the caller ID before she answered.

 

“Carmen. Hi,” Nicole answered.

 

“Did you find what we needed?” Carmen asked getting straight to the point.

 

“Uh. Um. Not exactly,” Nicole said picking at the leather of the steering wheel, staring straight ahead.

 

“What do you mean not exactly?” Carmen said in a low voice.

 

“She um-...Waverly she...wasn’t there,” Nicole lied.

 

“Then go find her.”

 

Nicole swallowed, trying to make sense of her racing thoughts. Her heart was beating so fast she feared it might burst through her chest. She had never been good at lying but she had to make it convincing otherwise Carmen would just come here herself and take care of _her_ Waverly.

 

“I was on my way to do that,” Nicole lied again.

 

“Good.”

 

Nicole let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

 

“Oh and Nicky?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“ _Don’t_ fail me again,” Carmen said before hanging up the phone.

 

***

 

Nicole sat watching Wynonna from inside the truck, her hands balled up into fists in an attempt to suppress the pain coming from her ribs. She knew Wynonna had a lot of questions that Nicole really didn’t want to have to answer. She knew she was going to have to eventually, but for now Dolls’ impromptu phone call had come at just the right time.

 

Wynonna shoved her phone back in her pocket and climbed back into the cab of the truck looking pissed.

 

“He wants us to check in! Can you believe that shit, Haught?” Wynonna asked, frustrated.

 

“Did you tell him where we’re going?” Nicole asked, a little panicked.

 

“Pfft. No. What do you think this is my first rodeo? As soon as I do that it’s game over and we have to do this whole thing _his_ way. By the book,” Wynonna said starting the truck and pulling back onto the road.

 

“Normally, I would have to agree with Dolls but this time-. I can’t believe I’m about to say this... I'm with you, Wynonna. The longer we wait the longer they have Waverly,” Nicole said reaching for the dial on the stereo and turning it off.

 

Nicole could feel Wynonna’s eyes burning into her and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. An uneasy feeling percolated in her stomach.

 

“So what’s the deal, Haught? You’ve been weird all day...and how do you know so much about these people anyway?”

 

Nicole's heart sank into her stomach. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to put it off anymore. Nicole took a deep breath trying to find the right words. There weren’t any. Not only had she hidden this from Waverly she had hidden it from Wynonna too and to make things worse she had put Waverly in danger by keeping her past a secret from her for so long. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Waverly the truth it was just...she couldn’t. She was too afraid to lose her. Now Nicole’s past was catching up to her and she had to face the music.

 

“Nicole?” Wynonna demanded, interrupting her thoughts.

 

“I-...um,” Nicole paused trying to force the words out, “I used to-...I mean. I was in the cult.” Nicole rushed out bracing herself for what was coming.

 

Wynonna slammed on the brakes, bringing the truck to a stop in the middle of the road. Nicole lurched forward putting her arms out to catch herself just before her head hit the dash. Her ribs throbbed in pain against the seatbelt. When Nicole was finally able to sit up, Wynonna had already drawn Peacemaker and was pointing it at her temple.

 

“Start talking, Nicole, before I blow your fucking brains out.”

 


	3. Hatred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday guys. 
> 
> Here's your third installment written by the awesome Boots.
> 
> In this chapter Carmen spills a few of her own secrets while Nicole and Wynonna try to figure some things out as they track down where the cult have taken Waverly.
> 
> As always special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> 

Nicole breathed out through her nose, hand still on the dash. She could practically smell the cold metal of Peacemaker because of how close it was to her. Part of her mused that she always thought she’d end up on the wrong side of Peacemaker, she just wasn’t sure how it would happen.

 

Well now she had her answer.

 

“I just...need you to trust me,” Nicole started slowly.

 

Wynonna scoffed and pulled back the hammer of the gun. “Fat chance. Especially while you still have your nifty little gun over there,” she could hear the frown in her voice, “Actually...why isn’t that pointed at me right now? Little slow on the draw?”

 

“I need you to trust me and I can’t get you to trust me if I’m pointing a gun at you,” Nicole said looking out of the corner of her eyes at Wynonna. Blue eyes squinted at her and hummed.

 

“You may be in a cult but I guess you’re not _completely_  stupid,” Wynonna said lowly.

 

Nicole took her hands off the dash and held them up at her sides so that Wynonna didn’t have to worry about her reaching for her weapon. Her mind ran through all the moments her and Wynonna had gotten closer and wondered if they would ever be back to that. There was a point even now that Nicole would consider Wynonna a close friend. Best, even. She swallowed a lump in her throat at the thought.

 

“Can we just talk, Wy?” Nicole sighed.

 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you.”

 

Nicole clenched her jaw and turned her head to fully face Wynonna, eyes looking past the barrel of Peacemaker just inches from her face.

 

“I know where Waverly is.”

 

She watched something move over Wynonna’s face at the sound of her sister’s name but the gun still didn’t drop.

 

“Why should I believe you?” Wynonna asked. “After all, you’ve been lying this entire time-”

 

“No, I haven’t,” Nicole insisted. “Did you once ask me if I was in the cult?” Wynonna was silent. “Then I wasn’t lying.”

 

“If this is some of that ‘I didn’t lie I just avoided the truth’ bullshit-”

 

“It’s not,” Nicole said before tilting her head in thought. “Not...really. Well...maybe a little.”

 

“Very convincing, Haught,” Wynonna scoffed. “You really know where my sister is?”

 

“Yes,” Nicole said confidently. “I can save her.”

 

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Wynonna said, her wrist going a little limp as Peacemaker sagged. “Let’s get one thing straight, butch Barbie. _You’re_ not gonna be saving anyone.”

 

Nicole felt herself bristle. “Fine. _We_ can save Waverly. But you need my help to do it.”

 

“And how am I supposed to know you’re not leading me into a trap?” Wynonna asked.

 

“You’re not the one they want,” Nicole said, patience running out. “Every second that we sit here and argue is another second we could be searching for Waverly. They want her, not you. And I’m the only one who knows how they think if they try to move her somewhere else.”

 

Wynonna frowned at her and Nicole could see her finger flexing on the trigger. Finally, as the seconds stretched on seemingly hours, Wynonna tilted the gun up and Nicole let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Fine,” she said putting Peacemaker back in her holster, “Take me to my sister. But if I even get a _hint_ that you’re leading me into some kind of trap I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your cult following head. Do you understand?”

 

“Crystal,” Nicole said, holding back an eyeroll. “Isn’t there anything I can do to make you trust me?”

 

Wynonna squinted in thought. “Well…”

 

“What?”

 

Wynonna pulled back and punched Nicole in the face, pain blooming from her nose and spreading over her cheek bones.

 

“Fuck!” Nicole said, clutching her face in pain. She blinked tears of pain away from her eyes and nodded. “Yeah...I deserved that.”

 

Wynonna rolled her eyes so hard Nicole was surprised they hadn’t fallen right out of her head. “You would fucking say that,” Wynonna said starting the truck angrily and muttering under her breath. “Fucking goodie two shoes cult bitch, I swear to god.”

 

Nicole felt her nose to make sure it wasn’t broken and leaned back in her seat as Wynonna continued towards the salt flats.

 

***

 

“So how’d they do it?”

 

Nicole blinked herself out of her daydream and turned towards Wynonna. Her mind was a little foggy with worry, pain and meds so she shook her head.

 

“What?”

 

“How’d they do it?” Wynonna repeated with a tilt of annoyance to her voice.

 

“Who?”

 

“The cult. Of Bulshar. How did they get you to join?” Wynonna said as if it were obvious. “There’s always like...incentives and shit, right? What was it? Fame? Fortune? Pussy?”

 

If Nicole wasn’t completely sure Wynonna would kill her for any sudden movement, she might have hit her arm.

 

“No, none of that,” Nicole said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Then why did you join?” Wynonna asked with a shrug. “They show up at your door with a pamphlet and you were just bored? Or?”

 

“I was in a bad place,” Nicole said quietly, pulling her jacket tighter around her. She thought back to the beginning, to Carmen looking beautiful in a bar and telling her everything she wanted to hear. “They promised me...family.”

 

Nicole kept her eyes out the window, the silence in the car was palpable. All she could hear was the soft tapping of Wynonna’s fingers fidgeting on the steering wheel. She kept talking just to fill the silence.

 

“I was desperate and desperate creatures do desperate things,” Nicole said, “I made a stupid decision but-...it all changed when I met Waverly. When I met you.”

 

Wynonna scoffed. “Save me the cliche bullshit, Haught.”

 

“It’s true,” Nicole insisted, “You wanted answers and I’m giving them to you.”

 

“Fine. Let’s pretend it’s some alternate universe where I believe you,” Wynonna said, looking at Nicole briefly before turning back to the road. “You’re telling me, this whole time you were vying for my baby sister’s heart...it wasn’t a cult thing?”

 

Nicole shook her head, the tenseness in her muscles softening when she thought about Waverly. But the softness was interrupted by the guilt settling deep in her stomach, twisting it and making her feel sick.

 

“No-...well...yes,” Nicole shook her head, annoyed by the complication of everything. “They-...Bulshar...they thought I was in it much longer than I actually was. I had to in order to...to keep them away from Purgatory as long as possible. But...when I met the Earps, my life became more than the cult.”

 

Nicole shrugged and surprisingly only heard some light grumbling from Wynonna. She thought back to walking into Shorty’s for the first time. How Waverly’s smile made her feel a warmth she hadn’t felt in...a long time.

 

“Everything changed when I first laid eyes on Waverly,” Nicole said almost dreamily. She swallowed a thick lump in her throat and shook her head. “And now she’s-...” Her hands tightened into fists. “We have to save her.”

 

“Preaching to the choir there, Haught,” Wynonna said under her breath. Nicole looked over at her. She could practically see the storm of emotions filtering across her face. Anger, pain, hate...betrayal. Nicole felt the guilt twist from her stomach up into her chest. She wanted to reach out and tell Wynonna everything was going to be okay. That she wasn’t going to stop until Waverly was safe. But Nicole knew now wasn’t the time. The last person Wynonna probably wanted to listen to was Nicole and she didn’t blame her.

 

Nicole twisted her body to face Wynonna better, hands folded in her lap to keep herself from reaching towards the other woman.

 

“Wynonna. I promise we’re going to get her back. Safe and sound. Okay?” Nicole said firmly. “And after we do, I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

 

Wynonna didn’t say anything and the car ride was silent for a while. Nicole suddenly really hated how far away the salt flats were. She wished, probably for the first and last time, that the cult had chosen somewhere closer for their lair. Nicole sighed. The meds she had taken had finally kicked in so her rib felt better, making it easier to sit without fidgeting.

 

She felt a hit to her arm and gasped, turning towards Wynonna.

 

“What was that?” she hissed.

 

Wynonna looked at her briefly. “How could you do this to Waverly?”

 

Nicole’s blood ran cold and she ran a nervous hand through her hair. “I didn’t-...I never wanted to hurt her,” she said lamely. It sounded dumb. It _was_ dumb. But it was sincere. “I was trying to protect her.”

 

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Wynonna said.

 

“I never did anything to hurt her. Everything I did was to protect her,” Nicole said, “They weren’t going to stop looking for her and I was the only way to stop them.”

 

“Fat bunch of good that did,” Wynonna said.

 

Nicole looked back out the window. There was no point in arguing with Wynonna. She was looking to argue and Nicole couldn’t blame her. Her sister was missing, taken by a cult. She felt sick, sure she was about to lose the contents of her stomach at any moment.

 

“Let’s just save her now,” Nicole said quietly, “Then you can roast me.”

 

“Oh, I plan on it.”

 

***

 

Waverly screamed into the dark room, the sound echoing off the walls and reverberating in the air around her. The scream broke off into a sob as the pain subsided, her head hanging limp and arms still chained above her head. She’d lost feeling in them long ago.

 

The masked man took a step back from her, red hot poker that was previously pressed to her thigh still in his hand.

 

“Alright, Waverly,” Carmen said, walking out of the shadows with that typical smug grin on her face that made Waverly want to kick her. “How are you feeling? Accommodations up to your standards?”

 

Waverly clenched her jaw and stared down the other woman. “Fuck you.”

 

Carmen had the audacity to look amused as Waverly’s torturer walked into the dark and she moved closer to the chained woman. Waverly might actually try to spit on her if her mouth wasn’t bone dry. Carmen pulled a chair from the edge of the light and sat backwards on it, just out of reach of Waverly. She looked up at her with the same infuriating smile.

 

“I see why Nicole likes you,” Carmen said, “You’re not her usual type...but I see the appeal. A cute, innocent looking thing, aren’t you?”

 

Waverly didn’t justify her with an answer. Mostly she wanted to scream and tell her not to talk about Nicole that way. Like she _knew_ her. Waverly didn’t care what this woman knew, or pretended to know. There was no way that she knew Nicole. Not _her_ Nicole. The sweet, caring, gentle and fiercely protective woman she was in love with.

 

“Come on, sweetie,” Carmen whispered. “Tell me what it’s like when she kisses you. Or when she fucks you. Does she still do that thing where she’ll nibble a little on your inner thigh-”

 

Waverly’s blood boiled, pulse pounding in her ears. She reacted on instinct and lunged at Carmen as best she could which really just resulted in her legs swinging towards her, feet barely missing her. Her torturer came out of nowhere and pressed the hot poker to her thigh again. Waverly cried out, twisting away from him as best she could.

 

“You don’t know what you’re up against,” Waverly said through gritted teeth. “When Wynonna and Nicole find me-”

 

Carmen interrupted with a cold laugh that sent chills down Waverly’s spine. She wiped away a single tear and shook her head.

 

“I’m sorry,” Carmen said with a wave, “It’s just...wow. You really don’t know.”

 

Waverly spat, “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

A wolfish grin spread over Carmen’s face, pure glee in her eyes as she spoke. “Well, let’s just say, sweet Waverly, that your perfect little Nicole Haught isn’t the knight in shining armor that you think. Any guesses as to why?”

 

Waverly remained silent, still glaring at Carmen. Every nerve in her body was yelling out for her to scream and demand answers. She wanted to milk Carmen for all she had to say but she didn’t want to know. Waverly was firm in her stance that Nicole would never hurt her. Carmen couldn’t have _that_ much on Nicole. What? She didn’t pay a parking ticket once? Sure her and Nicole had some issues, some miscommunications. But they had worked it out. Nicole loved her. Waverly had never been more sure of anything in her life and nothing Carmen said was going to take away the unwavering trust she had in Nicole.

 

“Guess you’re not much into talking right now,” Carmen sighed, stretching her legs out in front of her. “That’s fine. I’ll just do all the talking.”

 

There was a sickness settling in Waverly’s stomach. A dread spreading like ice through her veins.

 

“Where should I start?” Carmen said with a sigh. “I guess...from the big kicker, huh?”

 

Waverly swallowed thickly, the taste of copper thick in her mouth as she did.

 

“No need to bury the lead here. Your precious Nicole is part of the cult.”

 

Waverly just stared at Carmen, her heart stopping and head shaking slowly. “No. I don’t believe you.”

 

Carmen shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me. It’s true.”

 

“You’re a liar.”

 

“Oh, Ms. Earp, I’m a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them,” Carmen said lowly. Dangerously.

 

Waverly’s stomach was a twisted mess, tears burning behind her eyes but she remained stoic.

 

“Nicole joined Bulshar about...four years ago now,” Carmen said. “She was a messed up little thing when I first met her but I slowly changed that. A messed up little thing but _damn_ was she an eager lover. Eager to be accepted...loved...it might have been pathetic if she wasn’t so damn beautiful.”

 

Waverly clenched her hands into fists and shook her head. Carmen was a liar. A goddamn liar. Nicole wouldn’t-... _couldn’t_ be apart of the Cult of Bulshar. It was preposterous. It made Waverly sick to think about Nicole and Carmen together. Nicole under her…over her. Carmen’s lips on _her_ Nicole.

 

Carmen tilted her head. “Still nothing to say? Then I’ll continue.” Carmen stood up from her chair and slowly walked towards Waverly. “Did she ever tell you why she came to Purgatory?”

 

She was inches away from Waverly’s face. She smelled like flowers, but not in the good way. She smelled sickly sweet like the flowers at funerals used to cover up the smell of rotting corpses. Thick and rosy. It took her back to when she was young and they buried her daddy next to a smaller, empty coffin.

 

Waverly searched her mind for the conversation to why Nicole ended up in Purgatory. They were sitting on the Homestead couch, just at the beginnings of knowing each other. Everything about the other one was fascinating still. Nicole was intimidatingly beautiful, whiskey tumbler in her hands as she talked.

 

“The position opened up and I wanted to get away from the city.”

 

That’s all Nicole ever said. With a simple shrug and distracting smile. Waverly believed her. She never had a reason not to. Part of her mused that fate brought them together in the form of a job opening.

 

Waverly wanted to look away from Carmen’s eyes but she couldn’t. She was trapped in them as she smiled. She leaned forward and whispered. “She came to Purgatory, to bring us you.”

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“I told you, I’m not a liar,” Carmen said like she was offended. “Do you want to know why she was bringing you to us?”

 

“I don’t believe you-” Waverly said, panic and fear shaking her voice. “You’re wrong.”

 

“I’m not wrong.

 

“You’re a fucking liar. I won’t listen! I won’t-”

 

Waverly’s head jerked to the side, her cheek stinging where Carmen had slapped her. She grabbed Waverly’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, turning Waverly’s face back towards her roughly.

 

“Listen, little girl,” Carmen hissed, eyes on fire. “You’re going to listen to me. I need you to listen to me to understand. You’re special. You can save so many people.”

 

Waverly felt hot tears licking down her cheeks and cursed herself for it. Her heart felt like a gaping hole in her chest. She couldn’t...Nicole would never.

 

“Don’t you want to save people, Waverly?” Carmen asked, face softening.

 

“Fuck you,” she whispered.

 

Carmen ignored her cursing. “You have a gift. A power no one else has,” Carmen hissed. “How do you not know, girl?”

 

“Why should I believe anything you say?”

 

Waverly ripped her chin away from Carmen and bared her teeth at her. “Leave me alone-”

 

“Hasn’t anything happened to you? Something you...couldn’t explain?”

 

Waverly’s mind shot to a moment growing up when Mr. Rabbit was on the top shelf where Willa had put him. Wynonna wasn’t around and her daddy was too drunk to pay her any mind. She reached for Mr. Rabbit and suddenly it was in her arms. Another time when Willa screamed out in pain after Waverly shot her a look. The time she screamed at Champ and he collapsed passed out on the floor for no reason...all things that Waverly just considered weird. After all, Purgatory wasn’t short on weirdness.

 

Carmen must have seen something in her eyes because her smile, slow and sweet like molasses came back. “That’s what I thought.”

 

“You know nothing,” Waverly said.

 

“I know that you’re a witch. And I know that you have a power in you that you need to let out,” Carmen said. “And I know your precious Nicole has been lying to you for months. And the sooner you realize that...the easier this will be for everyone.”

 

Her mind kept going back to Nicole. She tried to remind herself that Carmen was lying. She had to be lying...but she just couldn’t help but think that maybe...maybe she wasn’t.

 

Maybe Nicole had been lying to her. It made Waverly want to throw up.

 

“I hate you,” Waverly said, throat tight. This was the first time Waverly had said it that she felt like...she might actually mean it. She could feel the hate deep in her bones. Deep seeded and hot like fire.

 

“Good,” Carmen said with a chuckle. “That’s the perfect start.”


	4. Desperation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo!
> 
> Here is your fourth installment written by myself (thegaynerd). 
> 
> In this chapter Nicole and Wynonna are getting closer to finding Waverly, Wynonna asks Nicole the big question (no not that one haha) and Waverly puts on a brave face. 
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> 

“How much farther, Haught? If that’s even your real name,” Wynonna asked, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into her mouth.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Sure it got a little grating after the first ten times Wynonna had said it but…she had just found out that Nicole had lied to them all this time. Sort of. Rolling her shoulders and focusing on the map in her hands, Nicole traced over the lines with her finger. She followed the road until it split off onto an area where the salt flats had been long forgotten. Miles away from the Ghost River Triangle and Purgatory.

 

“A quarter mile,” Nicole replied shortly.

 

“You'd better be right about this.”

 

“Or you'll torture me in ways even the cult would find cruel, filet me like a fish, and last but not least blow my brains out?” Nicole sighed a little, bored of Wynonna’s constant threats. They seemed to lose their impact when the only time Wynonna would even speak to Nicole was to ask for directions, threaten her, or ask how long they had left until they got there.

 

Nicole let it drop. Tensions were high, and they both just needed Waverly to be safe. To be back home.

  
  


Nicole knew the kind of things Bulshar’s cult did. She had never been present when they had tortured anyone but she had heard the screams echo through the building, bouncing off of the walls and sending a shiver down her spine.

  
  


That was when she had first started to question herself. Like some long suppressed part of her was coming back to the surface. Her conscience kicking in. Yet every time she had tried to talk to Carmen about it, the other woman would use her silver-tongued charm to seduce Nicole and win her over again. Or at least distract her long enough to keep her compliant.

  
  


It didn't stop Nicole from asking questions of anyone who would give her answers. She didn't make friends with the other members per se, but rather she made acquaintances. People she could align herself with if need be. It didn't mean she trusted them. Nicole knew they would hand her over in a heartbeat if it came to saving their own skin. Or if Carmen commanded it. Carmen ruled with fear and her flock were plenty fearful, Nicole included.

  
  


“Stop here,” Nicole said spotting a post sunken into the ground with a human skull nestled on it. Even having seen it before, it still sent a chill down her spine.

  
  


“What? Why?” Wynonna demanded.

  
  


Nicole huffed out a frustrated breath, “Unless you'd like to announce our arrival, Wynonna, we're going to have to walk the rest of the way.”

  
  


Wynonna pulled over and turned to look in the bed of the truck.

  
  


“You mean we have to carry all that shit?” Wynonna grimaced almost forgetting herself.

  
  


Nicole smiled inwardly and opened the door. She climbed out of the truck and walked around to the back, grabbing her backpack and Waverly’s shotgun. She ran her hand over her utility belt, doing a mental checklist and sliding her fingertips over the clasp to make sure the belt was secure. 

  
  


“I'm not carrying your shit. I told you it was too much,” Nicole said.

  
  


“Hey! Nothing is  _ too much  _ when it comes to rescuing my sister,” Wynonna snapped, as she snatched the shotgun out of Nicole's hand, ”And that's not yours.”

  
  


“Come on, Wy.” Nicole threw her hands up in frustration as she stared after Wynonna, who was already stomping away.

  
  


Wynonna turned to point at Nicole, “Just because I'm here doesn't mean I trust you, Nicole. First, we get Waverly. And  _ then  _ I'll deal with you,” she hissed.

  
  


“Fine. But we need a plan. If we go in guns blazing then we're all fucked,” Nicole said, swallowing her frustrations. She had brought this on herself and couldn't blame Wynonna for acting the way she was.

  
  


“You expect me to trust anything you say? You've been lying to us this whole time!” Wynonna cocked the shotgun and checked Peacemaker’s cylinder before clicking it back in place and holstering up.

  
  


“I want to save Waverly just as much as you do-”

  
  


“No! No, you don't. If you wanted to keep Waverly safe you would have told her the _truth_!” Wynonna shouted, “I still don't know what the truth is or what the cult wants with my sister so how do you expect me to trust anything you say?”

  
  


Nicole lifted her pant leg and pulled her backup gun from an ankle holster. Racking a round, she slid it back into her sock. She looked up at Wynonna, trying to mask the hurt she felt. Wynonna was right. Nicole sucked in a breath and prepared herself to be honest.

  
  


“Waverly isn't what you think she is,” Nicole said slowly, trying to gauge Wynonna’s reaction.

  
  


Wynonna raised her brow but said nothing.

  
  


Nicole nervously ran a hand through her hair. Honestly, she didn't know the full story herself. All she could do was tell Wynonna what she did know and hope it was enough.

 

“All they told me was that Waverly is special. Gifted. That they need her for something and I was-.” Nicole sucked in another breath trying to steady her racing heart, then plunged onward. “I was instructed to deliver Waverly to them. That's why I was sent to Purgatory,” she said, letting out the breath harshly.

  
  


Wynonna clenched her fist and took a step towards Nicole with anger etched over her face. Nicole took a step back, eyeing Wynonna carefully as the woman's other hand flexed on the gun in her hand.

  
  


“You. You were sent to-- You did this?” Wynonna said through gritted teeth.

  
  


“No, I…couldn't. I didn't. That’s why they came for her, Wynonna. I didn't deliver her to them and I tried to find a way to prove that Waverly wasn't the one they wanted and-”

  
  


“You as good as handed them my baby sister!” Wynonna shouted.

  
  


Nicole's shoulders slumped, her guilt consuming her. Wynonna was right. By doing nothing Nicole had essentially given them Waverly herself. She was the smoking gun. She had failed Carmen again and knowing the other woman, she would punish Waverly for it.

  
  


“I know,” Nicole said barely above a whisper.

  
  


“When this is over, Nicole, you had better run so far and so fucking fast because I'll be coming for you next,” Wynonna warned in a low menacing voice.

  
  


Nicole opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come. What could she say? Nicole knew what it meant to go up against the Earps. She’d seen the Earp loyalty time and time again but it was at a whole other level for Wynonna when it came to Waverly. Wynonna was fierce, relentless even. The only thing Nicole could do was hope that in saving Waverly she could buy herself enough time to prove herself again. To earn back Wynonna’s trust.

  
  


“Got it, Earp,” Nicole deadpanned, “Can we come up with a plan now?”

  
  


“I told you. I already have a plan. Go in, rescue Waverly, shoot anybody that gets in my way,” Wynonna said heading towards the building in the distance.

  
  


“Wynonna,” Nicole said hurrying to catch up with Wynonna.

  
  


Wynonna glared at her coldly. Nicole knew that look.  There was no use in arguing with Wynonna. Her mind already made up. All Nicole could do now was have Wynonna’s back when everything went down.

  
  


Wynonna circled the building with Nicole following close behind, her eyes darting across the landscape for anyone...anything out of place. Something was wrong. Something felt wrong. Nicole leaned against the wall making eye contact with Wynonna and slowly pulled her gun from the holster on her utility belt, her eyes continuing to dart across the vast white landscape. She checked again for signs of any cult members. Nothing. They should’ve run into someone by now. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.

  
  


Wynonna and Nicole huddled around the door sharing a quick look before Wynonna reached for the handle and twisted it. The click of the lock seemed to echo in the silence around them. Every hair on Nicole’s body stood on end, her heartbeat pulsing through her eardrums as she leaned in to whisper into Wynonna’s ear.

 

“Careful, Earp.”

 

Wynonna nodded and pulled the door open, their guns raised.

 

***

 

Waverly screamed out in pain, every muscle pulled tight. It felt like her body was on fire. Finally, the pain stopped as her captor pulled the cattle prod away again. Her head slumped and her body went limp. The only thing holding her upright were the chains around her wrists keeping her captive.

  
  


Carmen pushed herself off of the table and stepped into Waverly’s space, lifting her chin with a finger. Waverly struggled to focus on the woman in front of her as her head lolled weakly from one side to the other.

  
  


“You’re tough, Waverly, I’ll give you that,” Carmen smirked.

  
  


Waverly opened her mouth to reply but couldn’t get her tongue to work. Her brain still felt pretty woozy from the electric shock. She tried to focus and get her thoughts together. It felt like she wasn’t in her own body-- like she wasn’t in control. It reminded her of when she had been possessed by Mikshun. Unable to make words come out of her mouth Waverly just stared down Carmen with the hardest look she could manage.

  
  


Carmen let go of Waverly’s chin and took a few steps away letting Waverly’s head drop painfully. Waverly shifted her feet shakily and forced herself to stand slowly, lifting her head to look up at Carmen, words still failing her.

  
  


“Still think your rescue party is coming?” Carmen laughed.

  
  


“F-...F-fuck. Y-you,” Waverly stammered.

  
  


Carmen nodded towards Waverly with a bored look, and the hooded man stepped forward, again stabbing the cattle prod into Waverly’s side. A blood-curdling scream erupted from her throat and bounced off of the walls around them until it was just an echo in Waverly’s ears. The edges of her vision started to blur and she could feel her consciousness slipping away. Just as she was about to pass out the hooded man stepped back and took his place behind Carmen again, waiting for her next command like an obedient dog.

  
  


Despite the ringing in Waverly’s ears, she made out the sound of a door opening somewhere in the distance. Another man came out from under the cover of darkness. She lifted her head as much as she could in her weakened state, fighting against the throbbing heavy weight of her skull, trying to recognize anything about this new face. Waverly pushed through the fog in her head long enough to notice that he bore the same mark as the rest of them. A tattoo of...something...on his left forearm. 

  
  


The man leaned in and whispered something in Carmen’s ear, causing the woman's eyes to go wide. A spark of hope lit in Waverly’s chest. Had Wynonna finally found her? Was Nicole with her? Waverly’s eyes stung at the thought of Nicole, she had been on Waverly’s mind a lot since she’d been held here. Carmen had taken such great delight in illuminating the redhead’s sordid past. A past she had failed to ever mention to Waverly because she-...The thought made Waverly sick to her stomach; she swallowed down the bile rising in her throat. She had barely been fed since she had arrived here she didn't want to lose what little food she still had left in her stomach. How long had she been here already? It felt like weeks.

  
  


“Imbeciles!” Carmen shouted to the other man, ripping Waverly from her thoughts. Her head felt like it might split in two from how sensitive her hearing was.

  
  


“Well don't just stand there...find them!” Carmen turned on Waverly with a look of pure evil, ripping the cattle prod out of the hooded man's hand and jabbing it hard into Waverly.

  
  


Waverly screamed out and tried uselessly to pull away, her body jerking and muscles tight against her bondages. Carmen tossed the cattle prod aside and leaned into Waverly slightly.

 

“When I find your sister and Nicole I’m going to kill them...slowly. Maybe I’ll make you watch,” Carmen smiled.

  
  


She lightly kissed Waverly’s cheek before she turned on her heel and walked back into the darkness. Waverly could feel her consciousness slipping away and she fought against it. If Wynonna and Nicole really were there then she would need to be able to carry herself out of here. There was no way she would be able to fight in this state. Her vision blurred and Waverly tried to blink it away but everything faded to black.

  
  
  


***

  
  


Nicole held her gun out in front of her, arms straight. Wynonna held Peacemaker in a similar stance. They slowly made their way down the darkened corridor listening for any signs of movement. They reached the door at the end of the hallway and Wynonna looked over her shoulder at Nicole with a raised eyebrow. Nicole flexed her fingers on the grip of her gun and nodded to Wynonna signaling that she was ready. The uneasiness still sat heavy in her gut.

  
  


Wynonna kicked the door letting it swing open and hit the wall as the two moved quickly into the room. Nicole dropped her gun to her side as she took in the empty room. They were gone. No sign of anyone ever having been there. No Waverly.

  
  


“Fuck! Motherfuckers!” Wynonna shouted kicking an empty crate next to her.

 

Nicole stood in silence, her mind already racing to try to figure out their next move. Her eyes stung with tears as she swallowed her emotions. She couldn’t let herself get lost in the moment. She needed to keep a level head if there was any hope of finding Waverly. Nicole played through every conversation she’d ever had with Carmen.

  
  


“She's not here,” Wynonna breathed out, her voice thick with emotion.

  
  


Nicole watched Wynonna carefully, the look on her face causing Nicole’s heart to crack in her chest. Nicole blinked away tears as she fought against her own fear and guilt.

  
  


Wynonna grabbed Nicole by her shirt, snapping her back to the present and startling her. A thunderous look settled on her face as she pulled Nicole violently towards her.

  
  


“I thought you said she'd be here! Where the  _ fuck  _ is my sister? Nicole?!”

  
  


Nicole gently pushed at Wynonna’s hands until she let go of her shirt. Her hands dropped but she didn't take a step back. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.

  
  


A thought occurred to Nicole that turned her stomach. She ran a hand through her hair and sucked in a shaky breath. Nicole focused on a spot behind Wynonna’s head knowing that if she looked at Wynonna it would break her.

  
  


“I. Um. I think I know where Waverly is...but you’re not going to like it.”


	5. Deceit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday the 13th guys. 
> 
> Yep. That's right. We're posting an extra chapter for you this week to mark ONE WEEK UNTIL SEASON 3 STARTS!
> 
> The fifth installment (written by Bootsncatz) brings a few surprises your way as Wynonna and Nicole continue their search for Waverly and Carmen finally gets what she's been waiting for all these months. 
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy!

Nicole smoothed out the Ghost River map over the hood of Wynonna’s truck. The metal was still warm and the engine popped in the cold, barely cooled down from when they left the car to storm the Cult’s dungeons to no avail. She could practically feel the anger radiating off of Wynonna who was pacing behind her, muttering under her breath. Nicole was keenly aware of the way she was swinging Peacemaker in her hand, ready to shoot anything or anyone who crossed her. 

 

Nicole ran a hand through her hair and tried to think. Wynonna’s footsteps crunching in the snow behind her along with the turmoil in her own brain was making it hard to concentrate. Not to mention the throbbing in her ribs. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, the cold air stinging her lungs and expanding between her ribs painfully.

 

There was one other place she knew they would take Waverly. It was where they took the most “volatile” hostages. The ones they thought had the most power to destroy them but that also were the most valuable.

 

Carmen had harped on how important Waverly was to their cause. Nicole shouldn’t have assumed Carmen would underestimate her.

 

“It’ll take about two hours to get there,” Nicole said pointing to a spot on the map. Wynonna finally stopped pacing and walked up to the hood of the car. She looked where Nicole’s finger was pointing before turning to look at her.

 

“Why should I believe you? How do I know you’re not leading me to the wrong place?  _ Again?”  _ Wynonna asked. 

 

Nicole whipped her head to look at Wynonna, her own nostrils flaring. “I have never lied to you. I have  _ never  _ lied about my feelings for Waverly. Even before I renounced the Cult. And if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it forever ago instead of suffering in a car with you for hours.”

 

Wynonna scoffed. “Fuck you, Nicole. If that is your real name.”

 

Wynonna swiped the map off of the hood, struggling to fold it up in an orderly way. Mostly she just ended up crumbling it up into a weird ball as she got back into the truck, Nicole following close behind.

 

***

 

Waverly licked her lips, running her tongue over the chapped skin. Her mouth was dry and her head was throbbing. She had lost track of how long she’d been hanging here. Her legs were weak, bones aching so much they might as well have been broken. They might be for all she knew.

 

She forced her eyes open, one of them felt like it was completely swollen shut. She looked around the room and saw her torturer standing in front of her. Anger flared deep in her belly, reaching up into her chest and squeezing her heart.

 

“Leave me alone,” she hissed as he approached her slowly, cattleprod poised and ready in his hand. Still, he approached. Waverly was done. She’d had enough of this. Of the unnecessary torture. The tauntings. Waverly still didn’t know what the hell these people wanted. She wanted to swing her arms and knock them out. She wanted to kick and punch and fight her way out but she literally couldn’t. She felt so helpless and it just made her want to lash out even more.

 

Her torturer still approached and even wearing a hood, she could swear he was smiling.

 

The anger curled through her veins like poison, making her weak hands shake and muscles itch to run. 

 

“Leave. Me. Alone!” Waverly yelled the last word and a ripple passed through the room, like a pulse of energy. It threw her torturer back into the table of tools. It hit him with such force that the table crumbled like sticks under his body. Waverly stared at him on the floor, heartbeat fluttering rapidly in her chest and fingers tingling. Did she...was that her?

 

There was a slow clap that echoed around the room, starting somewhere in the darkness until Carmen came into view again. Waverly practically growled, still taken back by what had happened with the torturer.

 

“Well look at you,” Carmen said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It took a little longer than I was hoping, but I see it finally happened.”

 

“Stop being cryptic and just tell me what the hell you’re talking about,” Waverly said. The tingling in her fingers had subsided, but the feeling of adrenaline and anger flowing through her veins hadn’t.

 

“My little witch finally discovered her powers,” Carmen said with a smirk. “So proud.”

 

“You’re insane,” Waverly said. “I’m not a-...I’m not a  _ witch _ .”

 

Waverly had never heard something so dumb in her life. And her sister was a demon hunter for goodness sakes. 

 

“Waverly, Waverly Waverly...we both know that isn’t true,” Carmen said with a tilt of her head. “You think that throwing my men across rooms with your mind is  _ normal? _ ”

 

Waverly licked her lips, still dry and parched. Her words tried to stick in her throat but she continued anyways. 

 

“I’m not a witch.”

 

“Yes. You are,” Carmen said, slowly slinking closer to Waverly. “You’re a witch and you’re just the witch we need. The smartest and most talented of her generation.”

 

Carmen’s eyes glazed over a little bit like she had just discovered a treasure, something no one had ever seen before. Waverly wondered how to harness whatever energy that had thrown the torturer across the room to do the same to Carmen.

 

_ Witch, yeah right, _ Waverly thought as she stared at the other woman. Carmen looked back at her, their eye contact not breaking as Carmen got closer. But the closer Carmen came the more Waverly felt her blood boil, anger tipping over the edge until the same wave of energy surrounded her. She smirked, thrilled that this was happening again. She focused her mind and aimed it at Carmen. The energy erupted around them but Carmen remained close to Waverly.

 

“That was very impressive,” Carmen said with a nod, “And it might have worked but-” she held up an amulet around her neck, ancient runes carved into the gold surface. “I’m afraid I’m immune to your little tricks.”

 

Waverly’s heart dropped, the energy in her blood subsiding as she looked at the other woman. She never thought she could hate like this. She screamed again and it was like something else overtook her. All she could see was red and hate and  _ fuck  _ she wanted out of these chains. And something deep inside told her she could do it.

 

She tightened her hands into fists around the chains and focused her energy there. Waverly could feel the chains warm in her hands and she thought maybe she could finally escape. But after a few moments it was clear the chain wasn’t being affected in anyway and Carmen just chuckled.

 

“Sorry, little girl, those have a charm on them too.”

 

Suddenly Waverly felt her muscles seize, electricity flowing through her body and the feeling of the cattle prod in her side. She screamed out, the world becoming black at the edges. Her limbs were weakening and she felt herself just barely holding on to the edge of consciousness as Carmen looked back at her.

 

Her heart shattered as she tried to hold on to consciousness. She saw Nicole bright against the blackness of the inside of her eyelids, and hated that she wanted her. That she wanted to hold her. After everything that Carmen had told her-

 

She didn’t want to believe it. But  _ fuck _ if it didn’t make sense. Deep in her heart Waverly knew it was true. She knew Nicole’s intention this whole time was to betray her. And that hurt worse than anything. Waverly felt hot tears leak down her cheeks. Wynonna was her only hope now.

 

“Night night, little witch,” Carmen whispered in her ear. 

 

“Wynonna,” Waverly whispered weakly as the darkness took over.

 

***

 

The sun streaming in through the window of Nicole’s bedroom warmed Waverly down to her bones. It seeped into her sated body as she stretched her arms over her head. Nicole snuggled into her side, still damp fingers drawing circles around Waverly’s hipbone. She hummed, content, as she turned on her side to face Nicole. Brown eyes, blown from pleasure, looked back at her as the sun caught copper strands of her hair.

 

“Cutie,” Waverly said, raking her fingers in Nicole’s hair which resulted in an almost purr of pleasure. “Do you have an extra phone charger I can borrow?”

 

Nicole raised an eyebrow at Waverly, annoyingly attractive smirk on her lips. “I give you mindblowing orgasms and you just want my phone charger?” she teased.

 

“Yes, it was the plan the whole time,” Waverly joked as she slanted their lips together, tongues curling together lazily before she whispered, “Plus you know Wynonna will kill me if I miss an important call.” 

 

Nicole groaned, “No sister talk in the bedroom.”

 

Nicole’s tongue ran along the back of Waverly’s teeth and she tangled her hands in the red hair at the nape of her neck. She sighed into the kiss, their breasts pressing together and legs entwining. They had to pull away for breath and Waverly smiled, pulling Nicole’s swollen bottom lip between her teeth. “Sooooo....charger?”

 

Nicole rolled her eyes affectionately and kissed the end of Waverly’s nose. “In the drawer.”

 

Waverly rolled over and Nicole molded herself against Waverly’s back, placing soft kisses along her shoulder. Waverly pressed her hips back into Nicole as she opened the bedside drawer and peered inside. It was a tangle of discarded receipts, chargers and other discarded things.

 

Under a tangle of wires was a weird looking phone and Waverly frowned. She picked it up but it was obviously dead. She turned back to Nicole and held the phone up.

 

“Is this a burner phone or something?” she joked.

 

Nicole blinked, eyes focused on the phone for a moment before some color left her cheeks.

 

“Um, no, I mean-...yes. For work,” Nicole said quickly snatching it from Waverly’s hand. She shoved it under her pillow and Waverly frowned. 

 

“What-?”

 

Waverly was distracted from her question when Nicole rolled her onto her back and straddled her thigh. She could feel the heat radiating from Nicole’s core against her leg and all coherent thought left her brain.

 

“What happened to your charger, baby?” Nicole murmured as she licked a broad stripe up her neck to her pulsepoint. 

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Waverly said, tilting her hips up towards Nicole.

 

***

 

“I’ll go in first-”

 

“Why? So you can warn your buddies?”

 

Nicole sighed in frustration and bit the inside of her cheek. “No. Because they know me and I’ll distract them. Then you’ll come in, help me take them out and we’ll get Waverly.”

 

“ _ Or _ ,” Wynonna suggested, “you stay in the car and I’ll go in.”

 

“There are too many people in there,” Nicole said, “And they have weapons. Powerful, magical weapons.”

 

Wynonna held Peacemaker up. “Yeah, well so do I. I have a big ass gun and a big ass vendetta against everyone who took my sister.  _ You _ included.”

 

“Just let me take Carmen out,” Nicole said.

 

“Who?”

 

“My-...ex,” Nicole said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“So...your  _ ex _ stole my baby sister?” Wynonna asked, squinting at Nicole.

 

“Essentially. Yes,” Nicole said awkwardly. 

 

“When Waverly warned me about lesbian drama I was  _ not  _ expecting this,” Wynonna muttered to herself. “Fine. You go in and distract your ex. Have your phone in your pocket and call me when it’s clear for me.”

 

“Fine,” Nicole said, making sure her safety was off. “Let’s do this.”

 

***

 

Nicole slowly approached the old warehouse in the middle of the woods. It was so far in, it had taken her a good ten minutes to find it. She’d only been here a couple of times but she remembered it too well. It’s where Carmen took her for her initiation ceremony. 

 

They had dressed her in blood red robes and brought her into a circle where other people in robes stood, masks over their faces. They gave her a golden chalice and she drank from it. She still wasn’t sure what it was. Thick and sweet like wine but with a sharp taste that made her gag. 

 

After that everything was in and out. Lights popped in front of her. She remembered knives and someone chanting over her arm…burning. And she remembered Carmen on top of her... inside her, chanting. Her tongue curling around her ear in a language she didn’t understand. 

 

When she asked Carmen about the ritual later, she just said that Bulshar could be felt there that night.

 

The old warehouse finally came into view and Nicole pulled herself from her thoughts. She had to focus. This was about Waverly and Nicole just  _ knew  _ that she was behind these walls somewhere. She took a breath, hoping her ribs wouldn’t act up at the last moment. Slipping her phone into her pocket, Nicole tightened her grip on her weapon and walked up to the door. There was a lock on it and Nicole hoped they hadn’t changed the code since she had been given the information. Luckily it worked and she rolled her eyes at how dumb whoever was in charge of that was, before she slipped through the door. 

 

She was plunged into blackness as the door closed silently behind her. She could smell dirt and rot and a coppery smell she’d rather not think too hard on. As her eyes adjusted, she could see the warehouse divided up into rooms, a vague light coming from the far corner. 

 

Nicole wanted to just rush to the area, find Waverly and take her away from here. But she knew Carmen, she couldn’t just go in guns blazing. She slunk along the wall towards the light. Her heart was pounding in her ears, adrenaline coursing through her veins. She could  _ sense _ Waverly. It sounded weird but she swore she could feel her. As she slowly approached the room with red light coming from it, a blood curdling scream echoed through the warehouse. 

 

_ Waverly _ .

 

Nicole’s heart stuttered in her chest and she increased her pace towards the room. She had to keep her head about her. She had to rescue Waverly. 

 

As she got close to the room, she took a deep breath to bring her focus back. Listening intently, Nicole didn’t hear any movement behind the door except for the occasional whimper of pain. She used her shoulder to gently nudge the door open and looked around through the narrow slit in the door. 

 

All she could see was a red tint around the room, a small cage and tables full of torture instruments. There was blood on the ground and Nicole’s stomach turned. She nudged her shoulder a little further into the room and saw, in the middle, someone sitting on a chair with their back towards her, their hands tied behind their back. After a moment she realized it was Waverly and bit her lip to keep herself from calling out to her. She closed the door, sent a quick text to Wynonna with directions, and took another deep breath. 

 

Nicole pushed the door with her shoulder again, gun up in front of her and looking towards Waverly. There was no one. So she quickly stepped into the room, spinning and holding the gun in front of her to look behind her. Nothing. She kept her eyes peeled, ears straining for any movement as she backed up towards where Waverly was sitting. 

 

When she was sure no one else was in the room, she finally turned towards Waverly. 

 

“Waves,” Nicole whispered as she quickly knelt besides her. But the chair was empty. Nicole frowned, brain churning. She could have sworn Waverly was right there-

 

Something looped around her neck and began choking her. Nicole panicked, gun clattering to the ground as she reached for whatever was around her neck. Her fingers clawed at the thick rope, black popping in front of her eyes.

 

_ Fuck _ .

 

Wynonna was on her way in. Right into whatever trap this was. 

 

Just as her limbs began to weaken, the rope loosened and she fell to the ground, gasping for air. She reached for her gun and turned but the gun was hit from her hand and skittered across the dirty cement floor. Carmen stood over her with a sickening grin on her face. She gave Nicole a swift kick to her stomach and she cried out. Already hurt ribs protesting in pain.

 

“Wynonna! Run!” she yelled, hoping the other woman would hear her.

 

Carmen chuckled and kicked Nicole’s stomach again. She curled into herself in pain but still lunged for the gun. Nicole landed a foot short and Carmen’s heel came down on her hand. She cried out again.

 

“Stand down, bitch!” Wynonna’s voice came from the doorway.

 

Nicole turned to look at her. Wynonna stood, legs wide with Peacemaker pointed at Carmen. Nicole again went to lunge for the gun but Carmen kicked her in the face and she fell onto her back with a groan. 

 

“Hey! Only I’m allowed to beat her up,” Wynonna said. She shot Peacemaker straight towards Carmen’s face. Carmen waved a hand in front of herself and the bullet stopped, spun around and zoomed towards Wynonna. She dove to the side, avoiding the bullet so it embedded itself in the plaster wall behind her.

 

Carmen looked at her hand and shrugged in surprise. “Who would have known stealing some of your girlfriend’s powers would be useful,” she said looking at Nicole. She jumped up from the floor and tackled Carmen around the waist. They both went tumbling to the floor and Nicole straddled Carmen, holding her arms down at her sides.

 

Carmen smirked at her. “This feels familiar.”

 

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up,” Nicole hissed. “Where is Waverly?”

 

“Isn’t the chase part of the fun?”

 

Nicole slapped Carmen who looked genuinely shocked before letting out a cackle. 

 

“Haught!” Wynonna called from behind.

 

Nicole turned and Carmen pushed her off just as Nicole got in a punch to her face. A few figures in black masks flooded the room and Wynonna shot at them. Nicole leapt for her gun again, picking it up and turning it on Carmen.

 

“Aw, come on, Nicky,” Carmen said, sickly sweet. “I know that the breakup wasn’t great but I think this is a little extreme. Don’t you?”

 

Nicole’s stomach felt heavy, anger taking up all the spare space in her chest. “Where. Is. Waverly?”

 

She could hear Wynonna shooting behind her but all she saw was red and Carmen. Her arm started to burn and she knew what it meant. She tried to ignore it but it felt like it was burning through her sleeve. Nicole ripped her jacket off, gun still pointed at Carmen. The tattoo on her forearm, usually invisible, burned bright red.

 

Carmen saw it and her smirk just got wider. 

 

“You can come back any time,  _ baby _ ,” Carmen said. “We miss you.”

 

“Haught! We have to go!” Wynonna called from behind. Nicole turned to look and saw her fighting off a bunch of men in masks. Nicole turned back around and Carmen was gone.

 

“ _ Fuck _ !”

 

“Haught!”

 

Nicole turned back around, easily putting rounds in two men coming up behind Wynonna.

 

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Wynonna said. They both ran, stepping over the bodies of the men Wynonna had already dropped to the floor. They made it out of the warehouse, both taking a breath of the cold air. Nicole turned to talk to Wynonna and felt a punch to the nose.

 

“ _ Christ,  _ Wynonna!” Nicole said as she fell to the ground. “Haven’t I gotten beat up enough today!” 

 

Wynonna was on top of Nicole before she could react, fist pulled back and ready to punch her again.

 

“You set us up,” Wynonna growled. “I can’t believe I fucking trusted you.”

 

Nicole could hear a thickness in her voice besides anger and she shook her head. “I swear. I didn’t.”

 

“I ran out of trust for you,” Wynonna said. “I’m on my own now, you hear me? I’m going after my baby sister and you’re gonna stay the  _ fuck  _ out of it.”

 

Nicole pushed Wynonna off of her and quickly scrambled to her feet, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

 

“I didn’t set you up!” she insisted, “I swear!”

 

“I’m tired of your swearing!” Wynonna said, stomping back towards the car. 

 

Nicole scoffed. “So you’re just going to leave me here in the middle of nowhere?”

 

“Yep!” Wynonna said, fumbling with the car keys.

 

“Real fucking nice.”

 

“I’m done playing nice.”

 

“At least take me back to the road!”

 

Wynonna growled in frustration, throwing her hands up before she finally got the car door open. “I’m giving you a ride back to town but then we’re fucking  _ done _ . Do you hear me?” she said. “And only because I don’t know how to get back from here and I hate reading maps.”

 

“Fine!” Nicole said, frustration muddling her mind. “I’ll fucking find Waverly on my own.”

 

“Fine!” Wynonna said getting in the car and slamming the door shut. Nicole felt frustrated tears building behind her eyes but ignored them as she got in the car after Wynonna. She wasn’t going to cry in front of Wynonna. She was going to find Waverly. That was it. That was her focus.

 

She’d find Waverly even if it killed her.


	6. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here is the sixth installment for all of you wonderful people! Written by thegaynerd. 
> 
> In this chapter we go back in time and get a glimpse at what exactly led Nicole to be where she is now. Maybe answer a few questions. Probably raise a few more. As she continues her search for Waverly alone what lengths is Nicole prepared to go to in order to save the woman she loves?
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy!

Nicole sped down the highway, her mind racing with too many thoughts for her to keep up. She impatiently tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, her next move formulating in her head. Wynonna’s lone wolf stunt had set her back but Nicole refused to give in. Despite what Wynonna thought about her, nothing had changed. She would have to move more carefully now especially since Carmen knew they were coming. But it only made her more determined to find Waverly and when she did...there would be hell to pay.

 

As far as where to start her search...well Nicole was out of options. She and Wynonna had tried every place she knew about from her time with the cult. She was going to have to go about this the old-fashioned way and give those shit stains a taste of their own medicine. The only way she was going to get any answers now was by tracking down known cult members and torturing them until they gave up the answers she needed.

 

She swore years ago she would never torture anyone, even for self-gain like the other members of Bulshar’s cult did. But things were different now. Nicole had once told Waverly she would shoot anybody for her and she intended to keep that promise because when it came to Waverly, Nicole would do anything to protect her.

 

 _Hold on a little bit longer, baby_ , Nicole thought.

 

Nicole’s mind had been stuck on Waverly from the moment she had been taken. Panic and worry were growing with each passing day. Her mind dreamed up hundreds of different scenarios of what they might be doing to Waverly. Carmen implied that she’d gotten what she wanted from Waverly-- so what did that mean for her now? A lump stuck in Nicole's throat and she swallowed painfully against the tender muscles where Carmen had tried to strangle her. Nicole looked at her neck in the rearview mirror, the angry line across her throat now a darker shade of purple.

 

Nicole tightened her grip around the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. Tears gathered in her eyes. This was all her fault. If she had just told Waverly the truth...if she had never come to Purgatory in the first place, or if she had never fallen for Carmen’s bullshit all those years ago then none of this would be happening. Waverly would be safe with her sister...well, as safe as anyone could be when they hunted demons for a living. But she wouldn’t be being held captive somewhere going through god knows what.

 

Anger rose in Nicole’s chest and she pressed a little harder on the accelerator. She knew what she had to do, and she would stop at nothing until Waverly was safe.

 

***

 

Nicole threw her duffel bag into the trunk of her car, taking her shoes out before closing it. Her clothes slung over her arm, she made her way over to the restroom that had become her own, if not slightly filthy, bathroom.

 

It had been about a month since her parents had kicked her out without so much as a goodbye. It wasn’t like she didn’t know it was coming. Nicole knew from the day she’d realized she was gay that her parents wouldn’t approve. Nonetheless, a part of her hoped her mother might be a little more understanding. Growing up her mother had always been so loving and gentle. After high school it all changed...after Nicole had discovered who she really was and the secrets started.

 

Nicole let the door slam shut behind her and walked into the far stall like she always did. It wasn’t perfect but she reminded herself that it was just temporary. But the more time passed Nicole couldn’t help but think that seemed less and less likely. Once the academy was over, who was going to hire a cop who lived in her car? Still, it meant she could change in the privacy of the makeshift wooden walls without anybody bothering her. Nicole had seen a few tourists who would make the stop to use the restroom but other than that she only ever saw truckers. It did the job just fine when she had to freshen up or change.

 

As for showers, not much had changed there as she had always used to the gym at the academy and showered after. Plus it didn’t raise too much suspicion with her fellow cadets. The last thing she needed was someone's pity. Her parents reaction didn’t have much faith that she would be accepted if they all knew she was gay.

 

Nicole locked the door behind her and started to change. Her first night at the truck stop she had noticed a bar just up the road named Jimmy’s. After the first few nights, she’d found herself lost in thought so she had decided to check the bar out.  

 

Now she had become something of a regular. Alcohol always helped take the edge off and let her forget, if only for a little while, that her life was complete shit. Especially after days like the one she had had today. Nicole had been falling behind the pack at the Academy. It was a hard and bitter pill for her to swallow. Being a cop was all she had ever wanted to do, for as long as she could remember, and she couldn’t even do that right. 

 

All she wanted to do now was go and have a few drinks in peace. Then wallow in her own self-pity for a little while before stumbling back to her car.

 

Nicole pulled her jeans up and fastened them before she pulled her shirt down, flattening out the wrinkles with her palms. She slipped her shoes on and tied them with practiced ease. Nicole folded her uniform neatly and noticed a small stain on the front. She picked at it with her nail and made a mental note to go to the laundromat over the weekend.

 

Nicole stood in front of the mirror, looking back at herself before rolling her neck. Sleeping in her car wasn’t the most ideal solution but it beat sleeping on the street and would just have to do for now. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed taking in the bags under her eyes and her tired expression.

 

“You’ve looked better, Haught,” she muttered to herself before heading back out to the car.

 

She opened the trunk and carefully lay her uniform on top of the duffel bag before closing it. Nicole opened the driver's side door and leaned over the center console grabbing her wallet off of the dash before locking it and walking the short distance to the bar. If anything was going wash today away a few beers and some whiskey chasers would certainly do the trick.

 

***

 

Nicole threw the shot of whiskey back chasing it with a long swig of beer. The bar was a little seedy and probably not the kind of place you’d want to announce that you were law, but it suited her just fine. The other patrons left her alone. There had been a few guys that had tried their luck the first week to gain her attention. After some gentle persuasion on her part and a not so gentle warning from the owner no one had bothered her since.

 

Jimmy’s was your typical run-down truck stop bar that always smelled of stale beer and cigarettes. It used to bother her but had grown into something of a comfort for Nicole over the last few weeks. The familiarity of it helped after a long day of training or studying. It was her escape from everything that seemed to be going on around her. Somewhere she could ignore that her life wasn’t exactly working out the way she had planned.  

 

“Long day?” came the familiar deep voice of the bar's owner, Jimmy. Nicole smiled to herself, she couldn't ignore how cliche this all was. Jimmy the friendly local bartender who would just stand there cleaning a glass while you unloaded all of life's troubles onto him. Except he didn't do any of those things. Jimmy believed the answer to all of life's problems was at the bottom of a bottle...and he wasn't particularity friendly to most people either. 

 

He was a burly bald guy covered in tattoos who honestly looked a hell of a lot scarier than he actually was, it didn’t mean Nicole would like to see what it meant to be on his bad side. It was safe to say that Nicole had developed a bit of a soft spot for the guy. As much as two strangers who shared polite conversation could, anyways.  

 

“Something like that,” Nicole chuckled humorlessly, letting her shoulders slump before pushing herself to look at the owner. “Do you ever see me on a good day, Jim?”

 

“Guess not,” he shrugged pouring Nicole another shot and one for himself. “Bottoms up, Red,” Jimmy said holding his glass out to Nicole before necking it and slamming the glass back onto the bar.

 

Nicole did the same and threw her shot back with a small smile, “Cheers.”

 

He nodded at her before moving across the bar to serve another customer. She watched him for a moment before turning on the bar stool, beer in hand. Nicole looked around at the regulars drinking, playing poker and some off in the corner around the pool table. She shook her head and smirked to herself when one of the guys lost his temper and snapped the pool cue over his knee. 

 

Nicole took a sip of her beer as the door opened, catching her attention. She turned her head to look at the new arrival, more out of curiosity than anything. All the usuals were already here so it had to be fresh meat. Nicole’s eyes went wide and her throat dry as a tall beautiful woman, tanned skin, and long dark hair walked in. She was dressed in a red pantsuit that made her stick out like a sore thumb.

 

It took everything in Nicole to keep her jaw from dropping as the woman made her way over to the bar, hips swaying from side to side. The woman looked at Nicole and smiled, causing the redhead’s heart to flutter in her chest. Nicole smiled back, realizing she had been staring. She turned in her seat and hunched over her beer hoping to hide the blush on her face and avoid embarrassing herself any more than she already had.  

 

“Is this seat taken?”

 

Nicole looked up and couldn’t help the red tint on her cheeks. Even her voice was beautiful, soft and sweet like honey.

 

“Er--no. No, it's not,” Nicole stuttered, cursing herself internally.

 

Nicole smiled a little awkwardly as the woman sat next to her. It was like she could feel every pair of eyes in the bar looking in their direction...and they weren’t looking at Nicole.

 

“I’m Carmen,” she smiled holding her hand out, palm down, for Nicole to shake. There was a confidence about her that was...mesmerizing, and Nicole found it hard to take her eyes off of her.

 

“Nicole,” she replied shaking Carmen’s hand. Nicole’s heart fluttered in her chest and she found herself getting lost in Carmen’s beautiful brown eyes.  

 

“What’ll it be?” Jim interrupted, pulling them out of their bubble.

 

Nicole shot him a look, but Jim didn’t notice. He just stood there with a stoic look on his face. Nicole couldn’t help but think back to her first night here when he had greeted her in a similar way. Except...something felt different this time. If Nicole didn’t know any better, she would say this wasn’t the first time their paths had crossed but she was certain she would remember Carmen if she had been in here before. Besides she looked far too...high society for a place like this.

 

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Carmen smirked, staring Jim down before she turned to wink at Nicole.

 

“And leave the bottle,” she instructed, dismissing him.

 

Carmen turned on the stool so her knee rested against Nicole’s thigh. Nicole swallowed and smiled trying to think of something to say to the beautiful stranger. But all she could focus on was the light touch of the other woman burning through her jeans.

 

The next couple of hours passed by in a bit of a haze of drinks. At some point, Carmen had led Nicole away from the bar towards a booth in the far corner, giving them a little more privacy. Whiskey flowed through her veins making Nicole feel far more confident than she actually was. Fueled by the fact that Carmen was obviously flirting, Nicole leaned in closer to the other woman, overwhelming her senses with Carmen’s perfume.

 

There was just something about Carmen that seemed to consume Nicole, despite the twist in her gut that was telling Nicole to run.

 

Nicole watched, dumbstruck, as Carmen threw back her shot. Her muscles moved and flexed in her throat. Her head filled with thoughts of what it would be like to kiss Carmen's neck, run her tongue along her throat and feel her smooth skin beneath Nicole's lips. Nicole shook her head, shifting in her seat and trying to push the inappropriate thoughts from her mind.

 

Nicole's elbow was resting on the back of the booth, her arm bent. At some point, she had turned to face Carmen and tucked her leg underneath her. Her other arm was resting along the table-- all in an attempt to get closer to the beautiful woman who for some reason had shown an interest in her from the moment she had walked into the bar.

 

Carmen ran her fingers along Nicole’s arm sending a fire burning through her body and an ache between her thighs. Slowly Nicole looked down at long delicate fingers tracing a line up and down her forearm and back up to meet Carmen’s eyes staring back at her. Something like fire burned behind them.

 

“Want to get out of here?” Carmen asked in a low silky voice.

 

Nicole’s throat went dry, and she swallowed trying to make words come out. She opened and shut her mouth like a fish, words failing her. Instead, she nodded like some dumb lovestruck teenager. She could feel the heat of a blush across her cheeks. Carmen leaned in, her perfume assaulting Nicole’s senses again.

 

“I can't wait to see what you’re made of, Nicole Haught,” Carmen whispered her lips hovering over the shell of Nicole’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

 

Nicole couldn't remember telling Carmen her full name. Any other time she would have questioned it but with alcohol flowing through her veins and that insistent pounding between her legs, Nicole couldn't bring herself to care. It was like this woman was a drug and somehow she was already addicted.

 

Carmen stood and took Nicole's hand with a smirk, lacing their fingers together. She cast a quick glance over to Jim who was watching them with a look of...concern? Something. Nicole shook her head and ignored it, letting the other woman lead her out of the bar.

 

***

 

All Nicole could focus on was the pressure building between her legs with Carmen’s head between her thighs. She gripped the sheets with her hand, balling it into a fist as she climbed higher, pushing against the headboard with her other hand as she felt herself being pulled closer to the edge. Her muscles tight, body aching for release.

 

Carmen’s tongue swiped across the sensitive bud, sucking it into her mouth as she curled her fingers inside of Nicole and picked up the pace. Lights popped behind Nicole’s eyelids as she was thrown over the edge and sent tumbling down the other side. She arched her back as another moan grew in her chest, climbing its way up her throat and echoing around the room until she collapsed against the mattress with heavy limbs, breathless.

 

Carmen kissed along Nicole’s hips, tracing her lips across her stomach. Each touch was like a breath of fresh air to her oxygen-starved lungs. Carmen’s lips kissed a trail up her chest until they were face to face, capturing Nicole’s lips with her own and pressing her thigh into Nicole’s center, making her head spin. Carmen pulled back and ghosted her lips along Nicole’s jaw, nibbling her earlobe and pulling it between her teeth before releasing it with a pop.

 

“Still with me, baby?” Carmen purred her lips brushing against the shell of Nicole’s ear and sending a shiver down her spine.

 

Nicole nodded dumbly, coherent thoughts slowly coming back to her. Carmen lay down next to Nicole with a smirk on her face, resting her head on her hand. Nicole turned her head and gently kissed the underside of Carmen’s jaw.

 

“I love you,” Nicole said, barely above a whisper, heart swelling in her chest.

 

Carmen kissed Nicole, briefly cupping her cheek before turning to pick up a pack of cigarettes from the nightstand. Nicole watched mesmerized as she placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it. Her body ached to be that cigarette despite having just had those lips on her body.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Carmen said taking a drag of the cigarette and blowing the smoke out.  

 

“Okay?” Nicole said a little apprehensively turning her body so she could face the other woman.

 

“I have some...friends I’d like you to meet,” Carmen said slowly, almost like she was waiting for something.

 

“Friends?” Nicole asked, a little excited.

 

She and Carmen had been dating for a little over two months and not once had Nicole met any of the other woman's friends or family. In fact, she had barely told Nicole anything about her life.

 

Carmen took another drag of her cigarette and nodded. “Mhm...and they can’t wait to meet you,” Carmen smirked.

 

Nicole’s heart fluttered in her chest and she leaned in to kiss Carmen passionately, pouring everything into it. She pulled back and looked deeply into brown eyes, committing the moment to memory.

 

“I can’t wait to meet them either,” Nicole smiled brightly.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

 

***

 

“I don’t understand, Nicole. This isn’t you,” Shae said running her hands through her hair with a defeated look on her face.

 

Nicole looked back at Shae, confused. She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to them. They were both so happy a few months ago...so in love. Nicole took a step towards Shae, reaching out to her...pleading with her.

 

“Shae, please, you don’t understand,” she tried.

 

Shae took a step back holding her hands up before she sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands. Nicole helplessly stood watching her wife trying to find a way to make this better. To fix it.

 

Nicole and Carmen had broken up months ago. Sure they were still friends, but why wouldn’t they be? It wasn’t the worst break up Nicole had ever had. In fact, it was probably the only real break up she’d ever had. Carmen could be a little...controlling at times. But she’d let Nicole go and still be a part of the family Carmen had given her. Even after Nicole had started dating Shae. Nicole didn’t exactly agree with or even know the full extent of everything the cult did. Mostly she was just an informant. Their eyes and ears so to speak. It was like Carmen had told her: How could Nicole just turn her back on them? After everything they had done for her. After everything Carmen had done for her.

 

“I don’t-...I don’t think I want to understand,” Shae said finally, breaking Nicole from her thoughts.

 

“I get it...but you have to understand that Carmen is just a friend to me now. There's nothing-.”

 

“You think I’m jealous?” Shae asked a look of disbelief on her face.

 

Nicole raised a brow, “You aren’t?”

 

“No! Jesus, Nicole, this isn’t about your-- that has nothing to do with it. I’ve...heard things. About Carmen. The things she’s involved in...she’s dangerous.”

 

Nicole couldn’t believe what she heard. Okay, so Carmen could have a temper on her. Nicole wasn’t denying that because she’d seen it with her own eyes. That didn’t mean she was dangerous.

 

“Carmen saved me. She’s not...  _ dangerous _ ,” Nicole said in disbelief, but as the words left her mouth there was something in the corner of Nicole’s mind niggling at her. She ignored it and focused her attention back on Shae, approaching her and slowly taking a seat next to her on the couch.

 

Nicole gently placed her hand on Shae’s knee and looked over at the woman she loved. Brown eyes looked back at her filled with so many emotions it was impossible for Nicole to read her.

 

“So you’re telling me there hasn’t at least been one time where you haven’t questioned them?” Shae asked, “Not once where you’ve thought to yourself that what they are doing...that what you're associated with is wrong?”

 

“No,” Nicole said firmly, ignoring that voice in her head. She owed Carmen.

 

Shae shook her head pushing herself up off of the couch, no longer looking at Nicole, her eyes focusing instead on a spot on the floor.

 

“Then I can’t do this anymore, Nicky,” Shae looked at Nicole with tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry,” she finished, turning on her heel and heading for the door.

 

It took a moment for Nicole to catch up on what was happening before she was practically running after Shae who was already halfway out of the apartment by the time Nicole caught up to her.

 

“Shae, wait. Please...don’t do this,” Nicole begged, tears already falling down her cheeks. Nicole could physically feel her heart breaking in her chest as she looked back at Shae with pleading eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.” Shae gently placed her hand on Nicole’s chest leaning into her. “Just...please be careful,” she said, kissing Nicole on the cheek before she left.

 

Nicole put her hand over her mouth to hold back the sob that wracked through her chest. She closed the door and leaned against it slowly sliding down it, nursing her head in her hands.

 

Nicole wasn’t sure how long she had been there for until a burning on her forearm broke her out of her head. She turned her wrist as the mark glowed bright red. The barely visible tattoo that had as good as disappeared a few months ago started to fill out until the lines were solid again. She scrambled to her feet into the living room, grabbing her phone off of the coffee table and dialing the number before she could even register what she was doing.

 

“Carmen? We need to talk,” Nicole said, her voice thick with emotion.

 

***

 

Her fingers twitched over the envelope on her desk. Something unpleasant twisted in her gut. Nicole grabbed the envelope careful not to crease it, maybe if she held it up to the light she could-

 

Nicole suddenly remembered where she was and hid the envelope behind her back, her feet already carrying her towards the bathroom.

 

“Lonnie, hold the fort until I get back,” she instructed him with a warning look.

 

The envelope felt like dead weight in her hand as she rushed towards the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her and locking it. She couldn’t risk anyone walking in on her and seeing her, especially Waverly.

 

Nicole looked down at the envelope in her hands, her fingers tracing over the lettering.

 

_ Ms. Waverly Earp _

 

Nicole turned the envelope over to open it, her hands shaking, heart beating out of her chest. This felt like a betrayal, but she needed to know. She needed something to prove that Waverly wasn’t the one Carmen needed. It had been weeks,  _ months _ even since Nicole had reported anything back to the cult. She had knew it was only a matter of time before they showed up here looking for her.  _ For Waverly _ . But if she could just prove to them that they had the wrong person...

 

A surge of guilt washed over Nicole and she dropped the unopened letter to her side, looking at herself in the mirror. She was barely able to stand the sight of herself looking back. Nicole knew that as soon as she opened the letter everything would change. She would have her answer. She would have betrayed the woman she loved. But it was all worth it to keep Waverly safe. She had to know so she could prepare, figure out her next move before Carmen and the cult showed up.

 

Nicole nodded to herself almost as if she was giving herself permission. She had to do this, needed to, to keep Waverly safe. Nicole took a deep breath and started to slowly open the letter, pulling it carefully out of the envelope like she was afraid it might explode in her hands. She sucked in another breath and started to unfold the letter, her eyes scanning it until she found the words she was looking for.

 

_ You are not a match. _

 

Nicole leaned against the sink to steady herself. The room around her suddenly started to feel smaller like the walls were closing in on her. Her heart was racing and it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

 

_ Waverly isn’t an Earp. _

 

“Shit,” she breathed out pushing the hair out of her face, some of it sticking to the sweat glistening on her forehead.   

 

Nicole knew what she had to do. She knew that the cult, specifically Carmen, were going to come looking for Waverly...and when they did, she would be ready for them. She’d nearly lost Waverly to the darkness once already, she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

  
  


***

 

Nicole ran down the walkway, her ribs screaming out in pain, gun in her hand, hot on the cult member’s heels and careful not to put too much weight on the iron structure of the warehouse. It looked like it had seen better days and the last thing Nicole needed was to go plummeting to her death onto the concrete floor beneath them. The man stumbled giving Nicole enough of an advantage to swing her leg out and trip him. He went crashing to the floor with a grunt as Nicole slowed, her eyes burning like fire as she stood over him trying to catch her breath. The man cowered beneath her.

 

Nicole ripped his hood back revealing his face, and pressed the cold metal of her gun against his forehead.

 

“Where is she?” Nicole asked in a low voice.

 

“W-who?”

 

Nicole pushed the gun a little harder against his skull, “Don’t play games, Tobias, you know who.”

 

“Carmen? I-I haven’t seen her in weeks,” Tobias stammered.

 

Anger exploded in Nicole’s chest, consuming her until she no longer recognized herself. Her finger flexed against the trigger, her patience wearing thin. She didn’t have time for this. Nicole knew Tobias was the key to finding where the cult had taken Waverly. He was one of Carmen’s little runners which meant it was his job to know.

 

“Bullshit!” she yelled lowering herself down until she was crouched over him applying a little more pressure with the gun. “You’d better start talking before I put a bullet through your skull,” she warned.

 

Something else had taken over her body entirely. The words coming out of her mouth felt foreign to her-- like it wasn’t her speaking them at all. The tattoo on her arm burned against her shirt sleeve but she ignored it, focusing instead on the man in front of her.

 

“She’s at the dungeon. They’ve-...That's where they’ve got the Earp girl I swear.”

 

Nicole rolled her shoulders, cracking her neck, and took a deep breath. She needed to stay calm. Tobias would be no good to her dead even if he was lying. If she killed him now that would mean she had to track down another one of Carmen’s lackies which could take days. Nicole didn’t have time to waste.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Toby. I’ve already been there and it was a bust. So I’ll ask again and I want you to think very carefully about your answer...Where is she?”

 

“A--she’s in the underground prison. It’s an old bomb shelter underneath one of the old monasteries. North of the furthest point of the triangle,” Tobias whimpered, singing like a canary and telling Nicole everything she needed to know.  

 

Nicole lowered her gun but still kept it lingering in the space between them. Tobias’ eyes followed her every move.

 

“That’s all I wanted to know,” Nicole said before she stood up straight, her eyes never leaving him.

 

With a final nod, Nicole turned to leave, no longer interested in anything he had to say to her. She knew where Waverly was and that's all Nicole cared about. Bringing her home safe. Her mind wandered to Wynonna as her footsteps echoed against the metal walkway. Had she already found Waverly? A part of her hoped so. Despite the voice telling her that she couldn’t have. Somehow, Nicole could sense that Waverly was still hurt and in pain.

 

“I knew you wouldn’t have the balls to kill me,” Tobias called out, interrupting Nicole’s thought.

 

Nicole turned on her heel to face him, gun still in her hand. Tobias looked a little more confident that he had before, like he had the upper hand in whatever game he thought Nicole was playing.

 

“She’ll kill her you know. Your precious witch is as good as dead when I tell the commander you’re on your way. And to think you threw away your chance at the seven for... _ this _ ,” he mocked gesturing to nothing in particular.

 

Panic and anger shot through Nicole’s spine as the blood in her veins turned to ice. She couldn’t have Tobias running back to Carmen and warning her. Besides he was right, Carmen would kill Waverly if she was given the right reasons no matter how special she was to their cause. She couldn’t risk it.

 

Nicole lifted her gun and fired off a single shot into his head, turning on her heel before he hit the floor. Her ears focused on the loud thud of his body against the walkway, a small slither of guilt creeping into her. Nicole swallowed the bile in her throat and pushed her feet forward refusing to look back at the man she had just-...Now wasn’t the time to get caught up in her emotions, she had made a promise to herself and she was so close now. Nicole knew what she had to do.

 

“I’m coming, baby,” she whispered, pushing through the door to make her way back out of the warehouse.

 


	7. Divided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.
> 
> First off we just wanted to take a moment to say a massive thank you to every single one of you who have read this fic, left kudos or commented. Your words of support and encouragement mean A LOT to both of us!
> 
> This chapter was written by the amazing Boots and she's really amped up the feels for this one!
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy!

When Wynonna wasn’t finding Revenants, torturing them for information about the Cult’s whereabouts and narrowing down where her sister could be, she was thinking of different ways to kill Nicole Haught.

 

So far Wynonna’s favorite was dragging Haught shit behind her bike, over a bed of razor blades and into the salt flats.

 

Although she wasn’t sure it was the most practical way. It was definitely the most fun. Plus, she was Wynonna Earp, no one would dare expect her to be  _ practical _ .

 

But finally, Wynonna had gotten a lead. One of the Revenants sang like a baby bird on coke and gave her all the information she needed before she blasted him back to hell. Waverly was in an underground prison. An old bomb shelter that the Cult had moved into years ago for the more dangerous prisoners apparently.

 

It was only a few hours outside of Purgatory and Wynonna wasn’t about to waste any more time before rescuing her sister. Especially with her sister’s (soon to be ex) coocoo crazy pants girlfriend searching for her too.

 

Wynonna took the cover off of her bike and turned it on, smirking as it roared to life between her thighs. She kicked back the kickstand and put the helmet on her head with a nod.

 

“I’m comin’ for ya, baby girl,” she said to herself as the bike moved out of the barn and roared down the road.

 

***

 

Nicole slammed the car door behind her and immediately reached for the Beaver Buzz she had in the cup holder with a shaky hand. She wiped her hand on her jeans to get the non-existent blood off her hands from Tobias. She hadn’t been close enough to get any blood on herself after shooting him, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was dirty anyway.

 

The lack of sleep was really catching up with her. She struggled to keep her eyes open as she started the car. But she knew that even if she wanted to sleep, she wouldn’t be able to. Her mind hadn’t stopped working since Waverly was taken. Every time she closed her eyes, Nicole couldn’t help but think about all the horrible things Carmen could be doing to her. How she might be in pain. 

 

She was so close to Waverly. Now was the time, Nicole knew it. Today was the day she was finally going to find Waverly and nothing was going to stop her. Not even Wynonna. If Wynonna didn’t want to work with her anymore, fine. But she wasn’t going to stop or let the eldest Earp get in her way. Not a chance in hell.

 

“I’m coming, Waves,” Nicole muttered to herself before she chugged the Beaver Buzz, crushed the can in her hand and began driving away from the warehouse where Tobias’ body laid and towards where Waverly was captured.

 

***

 

As soon as Nicole got to the hideout, she parked her truck behind some trees and out of sight. She went into the bed of her truck, slinging the rifle she “borrowed” from the department across her chest and drawing her handgun. There was no way she was going into the situation unprepared. 

 

As she approached the door in the ground that she knew led to the tunnel of the shelter, Nicole adjusted the beanie on her head. Her heart was beating so fast it hurt her still bruised ribs. But all she could focus on was Waverly who was just a few feet below her. If she wasn’t-

 

Nicole shook her head to rid herself of the negative thoughts and clicked the safety off of her gun instead. With one final, deep breath, she opened up the hatch and dropped down into the dark.

 

***

 

Wynonna pulled her motorcycle into the woods near the bunker. Something caught her attention, and she looked over to see Nicole’s truck parked behind some trees.

 

“Fucking great,” she muttered under her breath as she walked over to it. The hood was still warm which meant she had just gotten there. Not only did she have to save Waverly from the cult assholes but now she had to save her from the crazy Cult girlfriend too?

 

“People really don’t like to make my life easy,” Wynonna lamented as she made her way over to the door in the ground. She pulled Peacemaker from the holster and kissed the barrel. “Alright, baby, don’t let me down.”

 

Wynonna nudged the door open with her foot and jumped down into the darkness.

 

***

 

Nicole dragged the body of the Cult member she had just knocked out behind some boxes and out of sight. She kept her eyes alert. Peeled. Waiting to see whatever movement around her that might alert her to another guard. But nothing. She wandered deeper into the tunnels of the bunker until she came upon an open room, mostly dark except for a red light flickering overhead and a cage in the middle. There were chains hanging from the ceiling, and her eyes followed them down to see Waverly standing there, back towards her. 

 

Her arms were chained above her head, body looking broken and dirty and Nicole’s heart lurched in her chest. She held her gun in front of her and scanned the room again for any signs but couldn’t stop herself from rushing towards Waverly.

 

She walked up behind her and placed a hand over her mouth, so she wouldn’t scream. She hushed her in her ear.

 

“Waves, baby, it’s me. Don’t scream,” Nicole whispered in her ear before moving around in front of Waverly. Her heart broke even more when she saw the bruises over Waverly’s face, her split lip and the way her dress was ripped and bloodied. 

 

Hazel eyes were wide, staring at Nicole who was thrown headlong into a series of emotions. Relief, anger, love, fear.

 

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” Nicole said reaching for the chains around Waverly’s wrists. Waverly jerked back away from Nicole, eyes still wide and bottom lip trembling.

 

“Don’t touch me,” Waverly hissed. 

 

“Baby,” Nicole said softly, eyes softening as she slowly reached for her girlfriend. “It’s me. Nicole.”

 

Waverly pulled away again and shook her head. “You lied to me. I don’t know who you are anymore.”

 

Nicole could practically hear her own heart shattering in her chest. Carmen must have told Waverly everything. She wanted to slump to the floor and beg Waverly’s forgiveness but now was not the time.

 

“Waverly, please,” Nicole begged, “I’m trying to help.”

 

The distinct metal clicking of a gun cocking by her head made Nicole freeze, blood running cold.

 

“Back away from my sister,” Wynonna growled. Nicole put her gun back in her holster and hands in the air as she slowly stepped back from Waverly.

 

“I’m trying to help,” Nicole gritted out, feeling more helpless by the minute.

 

“Not today when your Cult leader girlfriend is wandering around,” Wynonna said before she spoke to Waverly. “You okay, baby girl?”

 

Waverly nodded, relief on her face. “Just get me out of here, Wy.”

 

Wynonna nodded and used her free hand to motion for Nicole’s handgun. 

 

“Really?” Nicole scoffed. “You’re going to leave me in the enemy den without protection.”

 

“I don’t know, this seems a lot like home for you,” Wynonna quipped, hand making a grabbing motion. Nicole quickly handed her the gun, slipping off the rifle which Wynonna also took. She would rather go unarmed for now than wait any longer to free Waverly. 

 

Waverly who...still wouldn’t look at her.

 

Nicole swallowed the lump in her throat and watched as Wynonna freed Waverly. The youngest Earp practically collapsed into Wynonna’s arms, tears of joy gathering in the corners of her eyes. Nicole’s heart ached just to touch Waverly, to make sure she was okay. But that seemed like the last thing she wanted at this moment.

 

“Come on, baby girl, let’s go,” Wynonna said after planting a firm kiss on Waverly’s forehead. She looked back at Nicole who just stood there, shoulders slumped. “You too. I’m not letting your cult-ass stay here and spill all our secrets.”

 

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not part of the cult anymore,” Nicole hissed.

 

“Aw, sweetheart, I thought you said you’d always love me.”

 

Nicole’s blood ran ice cold at the sound of Carmen’s voice. Her head whipped over to see Carmen standing there with that smile on her face that made her chest expand in anger. Carmen kidnapped Waverly, beat her up and held her hostage in this shit hole. Now she had the audacity to show up and give her shit? It was  _ her  _ fault Waverly didn’t trust her.

 

“Get the fuck out of our way, Carmen,” Nicole said lowly, dangerously as she took swift strides towards the other woman. A couple of guards at her sides made moves towards Nicole as she did but Carmen held up a hand to stop them.

 

“Or what, Nicky?” Carmen asked, tilting her head in curiosity. “You can’t shoot your way out of this one.”

 

“I guess you haven’t heard. That’s kinda my style,” Wynonna said lifting Peacemaker and taking out one of the guards on Carmen’s side. She threw the rifle towards Waverly who stumbled for a moment but ended up catching it. Carmen waved her hand and a forcefield formed around her, Nicole and the other guard. Nicole turned back to Carmen who looked just as amused.

 

“You didn’t,” Nicole breathed. “You-”

 

“Zapped some of little Waverly’s powers? Sure did,” Carmen said, fingers grazing over the amulet around her throat. “And all thanks to you.”

 

Nicole lunged at Carmen but the standing guard punched her jaw and she went sprawling on to the ground. Nicole grabbed Carmen’s ankle as she fell and jerked it forward so Carmen landed on her back. The forcefield around them fell, and Wynonna put another bullet between the remaining guard’s eyes. An alarm started to go off as Carmen crawled on top of Nicole, hands around her throat.

 

“We gotta get out of here!” Wynonna yelled to Waverly. Nicole kicked and shoved at Carmen, but the other woman kept her at bay easily. 

 

“You made a mistake leaving me, Nicole,” Carmen said, their faces close. “Leaving your  _ family _ .”

 

“You were never my family,” Nicole said through clenched teeth, bringing her knee up and getting Carmen right in the crotch. The other woman faltered and Nicole grabbed the amulet from around her neck and pulled until it came free. She pushed Carmen off of her as more guards rushed in. Wynonna and Waverly held them at bay, shooting at them as they rushed in. Nicole stuffed the amulet in her pocket just as Carmen pulled a knife and lunged at her again. Nicole dodged her but Carmen came back, swinging for her.

 

“You could have been one of the Seven!” Carmen said, eyes wild, “Don’t you know what I did for you? What I sacrificed? You ungrateful little-”

 

Nicole punched Carmen in the jaw and reached for the wrist of the hand holding the knife. Carmen twisted at the last second, the knife catching Nicole’s arm and ripping her jacket. She hissed in pain and Carmen smiled.

 

“You manipulated me,” Nicole croaked. “You fucked with my heart.”

 

“I never lied! I always loved you. Even when you were with  _ Shae _ ,” Carmen spat. “Which is more than I can say about you and your new little thing. All you did was lie to her.”

 

“I wanted to protect her,” Nicole said.

 

Carmen chuckled. “You did a great job, didn’t you?”

 

Nicole bared her teeth and lunged for Carmen again. She knocked the knife from Carmen’s hand as she fell onto her back, Nicole on top of her. Her arm was burning where the tattoo was but she ignored it as her hand closed around Carmen’s throat.

 

“If you  _ ever _ come near me or the Earp’s again. I will  _ kill _ you,” Nicole said. Carmen’s hand closed around Nicole’s wrist where she was pressing just hard enough to cut some of the oxygen to her lungs.

 

Carmen gasped but still managed a smirk. “I forgot you like to play rough,” she said pulling her lip between her teeth. She bucked her hips up into Nicole, knocking her off and rolling over so that Carmen was on top. She pulled Nicole’s sleeve away from her tattoo and pointed at it. “Stop trying to pretend you’re not  _ just  _ like me.”

 

Nicole looked over at the tattoo and how it was more vibrant than it had been in years.

 

“That’s the darkness,” Carmen said as her own hand closed harder around Nicole’s throat. “That is all the darkness in you, Nicky.”

 

The edges of Nicole’s vision began to blur as she gasped for air uselessly, lungs burning. She scratched weakly at Carmen’s hand around her throat and pushed uselessly at the other woman’s face. She could hear gunfire and scuffling around her. Carmen looked at her sympathetically for a moment before she leaned down and placed a kiss on Nicole’s lips.

 

“It’s a shame I’ll have to kill you now,” Carmen whispered before her grip tightened on Nicole’s throat. Nicole could feel her consciousness bleeding away, legs kicking weakly. As the world began to fade, she just hoped Waverly made it out. Her and Wynonna. She hoped they made it out and made it back home safely. That Waverly didn’t think ill of her for too long, that she mourned her at least a little bit. Then she hoped Waverly had a good life. A fulfilling one without her.

 

Nicole let her arms fall limp, blackness taking over. Suddenly the weight off of her was lifted and the air rushed back into her lungs so quickly that she coughed. She sat up quickly and saw Waverly standing there, arm outstretched in front of her looking shocked from Nicole to Carmen, slumped on the floor a few feet away. 

 

“Waves,” Nicole croaked.

 

Waverly looked down at her hand then swept her arm out in front of her. All the remaining guards went flying and Wynonna looked just as shocked as Nicole.

 

“Come on!” Waverly said as they started towards the exit. They all ran towards the exit, Waverly going up the ladder first then Wynonna with Nicole behind. Nicole’s limbs were still weak, but she managed to pull herself out of the bunker and onto the ground. She was still breathing heavily, neck sore and swollen feeling as she looked up at the trees.

 

Wynonna pulled some heavy wood and rocks over the bunker to trap the Cult members inside. For now anyways. 

 

“Come on, baby girl,” Wynonna said as she took Waverly’s hand. “Let’s get you out of here.”

 

Nicole scrambled to her feet and followed after them as best she could, head still light from the lack of oxygen. She reached for Waverly naturally, but she jerked away, eyes wide in fear. Nicole’s heart ached in her chest and she looked between the two sisters.

 

“You can’t take her on your bike,” Nicole blurted. “I’ll take her in my truck.”

 

“Like hell you’re taking her alone,” Wynonna scoffed. “You ride my bike. I’ll drive your truck.”

 

“No way,” Nicole argued. “I’m not licensed to drive a motorcycle.”

 

Wynonna barked a laugh. “Now is  _ not  _ the time to be a goody two shoes-”

 

“We’ll all take the truck,” Waverly interrupted, arms over her chest and not looking at Nicole. “Wynonna, put your bike in the bed.”

 

Wynonna grumbled but did as Waverly said as she followed Wynonna. Like she couldn’t stand to be alone with Nicole at all. Nicole should be elated, and she was happy. She was happy Waverly was safe. But it felt like her heart was a bloody, beaten pulp in her chest that wouldn’t ever beat again. She dragged herself, defeated, to the truck and got in. She turned it on so it would be warm as Wynonna put her bike in the back. Nicole had offered to help but Wynonna refused, so Nicole just watched her in the rearview mirror as she struggled with the big equipment.

 

Wynonna got in the truck first so she was sitting between Waverly and Nicole and they started back towards Purgatory.  

 

***

 

Everything was silent until about twenty minutes into the drive when Wynonna decided to speak up.

 

“So, Haught, when will you be moving out of Purgatory?”

 

Nicole’s hands tightened on the steering wheel and the dam she had been holding back, all the things she wanted to say couldn’t be held back anymore.

 

“Wynonna, I’m not moving,” she said.

 

“Well, then I have to kill you,” Wynonna said easily.

 

Nicole sighed. “I didn’t do anything! I helped! You wouldn’t have found Waverly without me.”

 

“And the cult wouldn’t have found her if you didn’t help  _ them  _ either.”

 

“That’s not true!”

 

“It was literally your  _ job.” _

 

“Waverly,” Nicole said, voice softer as she leaned forward in her seat to see her better. Waverly was leaning her forehead against the window, watching the snow, and trees pass them as they drove. “Please believe me. I never wanted you to get hurt. I...I didn’t know what I was getting into but when I realized-...when I realized I loved you, I left. I had to leave. I couldn’t bear the idea of hurting you.”

 

“Did they give you acting classes in the Cult too?” Wynonna asked sarcastic lilt to the end of her sentence.

 

Nicole ignored her. “Please, believe me, baby.”

 

“Don’t call me ‘baby’,” Waverly practically whispered, eyes never leaving the window. 

 

Nicole was sure there was just a hole where her heart used to be.

 

“Waves-”

 

“Don’t fucking talk to her,” Wynonna interrupted.

 

“Will you both just stop!” Waverly said. The air around them crackled like it was filled with electricity before going still again as silence settled in the car. 

 

Suddenly Wynonna turned to Waverly and asked,  “So what? Are you a freaking Jedi now or something?”

 

Nicole audibly sighed and Waverly took Wynonna’s hand in her own and leaned against her sister. “I’ll tell you later,” she whispered to her as they finished the drive in silence.

 

***

 

They finally pulled up to the Homestead, and Wynonna couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. She even went as far as leaning over Waverly to unlock the door and open it. Waverly slid out, Wynonna close behind. Nicole’s heart fluttered in a panic, wondering if this was going to be the last time she saw Waverly. And she didn’t even get a chance to talk to her.

 

“Wait!” she shouted just as Wynonna closed the door. 

 

Nicole undid her seatbelt and got out of the car as Wynonna pulled her bike out of the bed. She walked around the front to where Waverly was standing, making sure to stay at least five feet away from her.

 

“Hey,” Nicole said cautiously, stuffing her hands in her pockets so she wouldn’t reach for Waverly. “Can we talk?”

 

Waverly finally looked over at her but Wynonna stepped in between them.

 

“Back off, Haught,” Wynonna said, blocking Waverly from her view. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

 

“Wynonna,” Waverly said easily, hand on her sister’s arm. “Come on. I’ll talk to her.”

 

“Waves-”

 

“Wynonna. I’m still  _ me _ ,” Waverly said firmly. “I may have been taken, but I’m fully capable of making my own decisions. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak for me.”

 

Wynonna turned and looked at Waverly, disbelief in her eyes. “But-”

 

“Wait on the porch,” Waverly said, giving Wynonna a pointed look. The two sisters just looked at each other for a moment before Wynonna scoffed and looked back at Nicole. She stepped up to her, their faces inches apart.

 

“Don’t try anything,” she hissed before walking past her towards the porch, making sure she hit Nicole with her shoulder as she went. Nicole shot Wynonna a look but then looked back at Waverly gratefully.

 

“Thank you, Waves-”

 

“You have five minutes,” Waverly said, eyes flickering to the ground before looking back up at Nicole. Her heart broke all over again and she licked her lips.

 

“Are you okay?” Nicole asked, taking a step closer to Waverly.

 

Waverly shrugged. “I was just kidnapped and tortured. I’m not necessarily doing my best.”

 

“Right,” Nicole said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I just want-...I’m glad you’re back here. Safe. I was so worried.”

 

Waverly just looked at Nicole and she shook her head.

 

“Waverly, can I please just...explain? What happened?” Nicole pleaded. “I never  _ never  _ wanted to hurt you.”

 

“Why?” Waverly interrupted. Eyes shining and voice soft. “Why did you make me fall in love with you?”

 

“Oh, sweetie,” Nicole said softly, unable to keep the nickname from falling from her lips. Her instincts made her take a step closer to Waverly who instantly took a step back. The distance between them felt like a chasm that Nicole would rather jump into than have Waverly ever think Nicole wanted to hurt her. She clenched her hands into fists in her pockets and sighed, shaking her head. “Waverly. I never-...I love you. So much.”

 

Waverly shook her head, “You can’t say that anymore. Please. Don’t-”

 

Waverly looked away quickly and Nicole’s arms itched to hold her. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said. “I just want you-... _ need _ you to know that I still care for you. And I made a huge mistake years ago but that doesn’t change me. It doesn’t change who I am-”

 

“It changes who I thought you were,” Waverly said, eyes back on Nicole. “And I don’t know if I can come back from that.”

 

Nicole could feel Waverly slipping away from her. The chasm got wider and wider and she worried she’d never make it to the other side again. 

 

“Waverly,” she said weakly, pathetically as her voice choked with tears. “Please. I swear, I-...Carmen, she-”

 

“Stop!” Waverly shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut as she sniffled. “I can’t-...please don’t come around here. Around me. I just-...goodbye, Nicole.”

 

With those final words, Waverly walked past Nicole and to the porch of the Homestead where Wynonna was standing. Watching. Nicole couldn’t stand to watch her walk away so she just looked down at the ground and got back in her truck. Her vision got blurry as she started the car and pulled out, driving away from the Homestead. Maybe for the last time.


	8. Mistrust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you beautiful Earpers and happy Wynonna Earp day!
> 
> Me and Boots thought that seen as today is our holy day and all that we would give you another extra chapter this week! So here's the eighth installment of our little angst train written by myself (thegaynerd). 
> 
> This chapter sees Nicole dealing with the aftermath of her role in what happened to Waverly as the youngest Earp is trying to deal with her own struggles following the kidnapping. 
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy!

Waverly screamed out soundlessly for Nicole and Wynonna. She tried to reach for her throat but she couldn’t move. Waverly looked up to see that her arms were held firm by the chains above her head. Panic shot up her spine, her limbs shaking with fear as Waverly pulled against her bonds trying to break free. The chains tightened around her wrists and pain ripped through her entire body. She cried out, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed-- begging for her sister and Nicole. She just wanted someone, anyone, to make the pain stop. 

 

A familiar laugh broke out around her and Waverly tried to focus, looking out into the darkness surrounding her. But there was nothing. It was just...black. 

 

“You’re mine now,” Carmen’s voice boomed around her, growing louder until Waverly could feel the other woman’s breath whispering in her ear, “Nobody is coming for you, Waverly.”

 

Another sob wracked through her, bringing with it a fresh wave of tears. White teeth appeared in the darkness next to her and Waverly watched Carmen’s unmistakable smirk circle around her like a hungry shark.

 

“Wynonna! Nicole!” Waverly screamed; her voice echoed around her but muffled, as though underwater, before trailing off into a whisper. “Please,” she whimpered. 

 

“Wynonna,” Carmen’s voice mocked her, “Nicole.”

 

Waverly tried to kick out into the darkness, fighting against the chains, but she couldn’t move her body. She tried to kick out again and put some distance between herself and Carmen but her legs remained rooted to the floor her hips writhing around uselessly. 

 

An outline of a face started to take shape in front of Waverly and she tried to pull back to get away from it, her body less willing to cooperate than it had been a few moments ago. 

 

“Wynonna isn’t coming for you, Waverly-” a familiar voice said, her stomach turned, dread pooling in her gut. Waverly thought she was going to be sick, bile rising in her throat.

 

Nicole’s face appeared in front of Waverly’s from the darkness. Her lips twisted into Carmen’s sinister smile, sending a chill down her spine, “-but I’m here and you’re  _ all mine _ .”

 

Waverly jolted awake. She sat up screaming, pulling at her wrists and her clothes trying to free herself. Sweat glistened on her forehead and dripped down her face. Her pajamas were soaked through but all she wanted to do was rip them off and scramble away to safety. 

 

Wynonna burst through the door and carefully walked towards Waverly. Before Waverly had time to register what was happening Wynonna was next to her slowly lowering herself onto the bed next to Waverly. 

 

“It’s me, baby girl, it’s Wynonna. You’re safe. You’re home,” she whispered gently pulling Waverly into her, wrapping her arm around Waverly. 

 

Waverly started to relax and focused on her sister as she combed her fingers through sweat slicked-hair, wiping it from her forehead and rubbing Waverly’s back with her other hand, trying to soothe her like she used to do when they were kids. 

 

Waverly buried her face into Wynonna’s chest letting the tears fall, her body shaking as she sobbed into her sister. Wynonna kissed the top of her head and pulled Waverly closer smoothing out her hair with her palm.

 

Waverly felt Wynonna move next to her and climb under the covers, never letting go of her, settling in next to Waverly as she continued to cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks thick and fast showing no signs of stopping. No matter how much she wanted them to. 

 

Waverly felt Wynonna lie down, adjusting Waverly until her head was resting firmly on her sister’s shoulder. Strong arms still wrapped around her, tight enough to bring comfort and safety but not so tight that she felt like she was trapped again. 

 

Waverly sobbed until her tears ran dry and she physically couldn’t cry anymore. Wynonna remained silent like she always had all those years ago, whispering the odd word of comfort to let Waverly know she was there. 

 

A part of Waverly felt like she was that scared five-year-old girl again. The same one that relied on her big sister to protect her from the big scary monsters and chase them away. This time though, Waverly knew she would have to face them...alone. 

 

***

 

The Jeep idled for a few minutes before Waverly turned the ignition off. Part of her wanted to run. To leave and never come back. But the other part of her wanted to stay, needed to fight. 

 

It had been a week since she had been rescued and brought back home. And there were times Waverly had wondered if that day would ever come. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in Wynonna, that her sister would stop at nothing to find her. Waverly could just...feel herself changing. Whatever plan Carmen had in mind to break Waverly was working. It was like Waverly could feel tiny parts of herself being chipped away and there was nothing she could do to stop it. No matter how hard she fought against it. 

 

Yet here she was...safe. 

 

The first month Waverly was home she barely left the house. On the odd occasion, she would take a walk with Wynonna around the grounds of the Homestead but that was mostly to pacify her sister. She had ventured into town a couple of times over recent weeks and she swore she had never felt anxiety like it. She was constantly looking over her shoulder waiting for someone to jump out and take her again. 

 

It was no secret the Earps had something of a troubled past. She and Wynonna had been through a lot together, but this time it was...different. Waverly was on her own. Sure she had Wynonna, the one person Waverly knew she could count on to always be there. Dolls, Doc, and Jeremy had visited her from time to time under the watchful eye of her sister. Yet, on more than one occasion Waverly found herself wishing it was Nicole there instead. Despite everything that had happened. She wanted to hate Nicole for what she had done but she...couldn't. 

 

It all changed one evening when Gus called her. Wynonna had obviously told their aunt about what had happened. The familiar voice of the woman who had practically raised her soothed her broken soul. Some of the pieces fitted back into place. The sound of Alice cooing and crying in the background had made something inside Waverly snap. Had made her want to stand up and fight with everything she had to keep her niece out of harm's way. 

 

But now she was here. The municipal building had never seemed so daunting. Like it was glaring back at her as she wondered if she had made the right decision to come back to work. 

 

“You okay, baby girl?” Wynonna asked from the passenger seat, startling Waverly from her thoughts. 

 

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Waverly said, albeit a little unconvincing. 

 

“Are you sur-?”

 

“I’ll be fine, Nonna,” Waverly interrupted. 

 

Wynonna put her hand on Waverly’s knee and turned to face her.  

 

“We don’t have to do this. If you’re not ready there's nothing wrong with that,” Wynonna smiled gently.  

 

Waverly let out a breath. No. She _needed_ to do this. She needed something to distract her, to take her wandering mind off of the one person who had been absent since her return. Waverly wanted to be angry with her, wanted to say she didn’t care or love Nicole anymore but she couldn't. She just felt...heartbroken. _She_ was broken. That was without mentioning the ever-looming threat of Bulshar’s return hanging over all of their heads. Wynonna and the team needed her now more than ever. 

 

“I want to,” Waverly said staring off in front of her. “Besides you guys need me,” Waverly smirked hoping to calm the concern she could feel radiating off of her sister. 

 

Waverly looked at her face in the rearview mirror, the only physical sign of what happened was a small scar on her right cheek. Waverly sucked in a breath, pulling her keys from the ignition before opening the door and hopping out. 

 

“Come on, Wy, we’re going to be late.” 

  
  


***

 

Nicole flattened her palms out over her uniform, trying to smooth out any wrinkles. Her heart beat hard against her chest even though it felt like it was in her throat. Her stomach twisted with guilt as she lifted a shaky hand to the door and knocked gently. 

 

To say things had been difficult since her return would be an understatement. She didn’t and couldn’t blame everyone for their frosty behavior but it didn't mean it hurt any less. The only person who hadn’t really changed how they acted around her was Nedley. He’d pulled her into his office the day after she had come back to work to have a chat with her. She told him the truth, obviously, and he had told her whatever she had done in the past wouldn’t affect his judgment of her now. She had more than proven herself since she had been in Purgatory and was still the best officer he could have asked for. But Nicole swore he looked at her differently now.

 

Nicole hadn’t worked many cases with BBD and none of them had really said much to her unless absolutely necessary. But they were all still professional. Even if they were giving her the cold shoulder. Wynonna, however, had been a whole other ball game. Mostly she just avoided the eldest Earp as much as she possibly could. It was easier for everyone that way.

 

So why was Dolls calling her into his office now?

 

“Enter,” Dolls’ stoic voice sounded through the glass. 

 

Nicole opened the door and popped her head through the gap with a sheepish look on her face. She let out a small breath when she saw Wynonna was nowhere to be found. 

 

“You wanted to see me, Agent Dolls?”

 

Nicole could feel Jeremy’s eyes on her from where he sat in the corner of the room but she ignored it, focusing on the man in front of her instead. 

 

“Officer Haught,” Dolls paused and looked over at Jeremy, her eyes following the same path as she offered him a tight-lipped smile. Dolls cleared his throat and Nicole snapped back to him. 

 

“I think we should have this conversation in my office,” he said gesturing towards his door. 

 

Nicole nodded and followed him into his office closing the door behind her. 

 

“Sit,” Dolls said sitting in his chair across of her. 

 

Nicole followed his instruction a little nervously, her eyes never leaving him, heart thundering in her chest.

 

“Can I ask what this is about, Dolls?” 

 

“Agent Dolls will do fine,” he said coldly.

 

So this wasn’t a friendly visit. Of course. 

 

“Okay. Can I ask what this is about,  _ Agent  _ Dolls?” Nicole corrected herself, a little bite in her voice. 

 

Nicole swallowed her frustration, hands fidgeting in her lap. The way Dolls was looking at her made Nicole squirm and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

 

“Waverly,” he said simply. 

 

“Oh,” was all Nicole could manage. It was like the rug had been pulled out from underneath her and she was scrambling to keep herself upright.

 

Dolls crossed his arms over his chest, eyes never leaving Nicole. He remained silent for a few moments but to Nicole, it felt like it stretched on for hours.  

 

“She’s coming back today so I wanted us to have a little...chat, before she got here,” Dolls said matter of fact. 

 

“A chat?” Nicole asked with a raised brow. The mere mention of Waverly’s name ripped a hole through her chest, breaking her heart into a million pieces all over again. 

 

Dolls nodded once, a hard expression on his face. “To make sure we understand each other.”

 

“And what is it that you want me to understand exactly?” Nicole asked, already knowing the answer. 

 

“I don’t want your... _ presence _ upsetting any of my agents, Officer Haught,” he answered. 

 

Nicole sat there looking back at Dolls her mouth hanging open slightly. She shifted in her seat again before speaking, trying to keep the shock off her face. Nicole was sure he had already seen it though, there wasn’t much that got past him. Nicole opened her mouth to answer but was cut off before she could get the words out. 

 

“Wynonna wanted to...have a quiet chat with you about it but I’m sure you understand why I couldn’t let her do that.” Dolls said, his expression as cold as ever. 

 

“Right,” Nicole nodded not really looking at him, her eyes focused on a spot on his desk, twiddling her thumbs. 

 

“Do we have an understanding?” Dolls asked. 

 

Nicole’s heart sank. So this was how it was going to be from now on? Nicole treading on eggshells all the time. Her first reaction was to put him in his place and storm out of here. That was until some reason took over and she reminded herself  _ why  _ she was in this situation to begin with. 

 

“Yes, sir,” she agreed, slipping into officer mode.

 

“Good,” Dolls pushed himself up out of his seat signaling that this little meeting was over. “That will be all,” he finished. 

 

Nicole stood up from her seat and turned to leave, hand on the door handle when Dolls spoke again. 

 

“Oh, Officer Haught?” 

 

“Sir?” Nicole answered lifting her head but not turning to face him. 

 

“We have reason to believe the Revenant we’re tracking is hiding out in the trailer park. I’m going to put in a request with the Sheriff that you join us. Will that be a problem?”

 

“No, Agent Dolls, there's no problem.”

 

“Then you are dismissed,” Nicole heard shuffling behind her and took that to mean he was finished with their conversation. She bit down on her lip to hold in the sarcastic  _ gee thanks  _ that ran the risk of falling out of her mouth and walked out. 

 

Nicole shut the door behind her and let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She was just glad to have that conversation over and done with. Nicole leaned back slightly on the door preparing herself to face Jeremy again, then getting the hell out of there before Wynonna and Waverly showed up. 

 

Nicole pushed herself off of the door and gave Jeremy a quick nod. He nodded back with a small, sad smile, something like sympathy swimming around in his eyes. Nicole watched as his eyes went wide but before she could ask what was wrong the door to the BBD office swung open. 

 

“Alright, assholes, the team is here let’s go kick some-” Wynonna paused eyes locking onto Nicole. 

 

Nicole only looked at Wynonna briefly before hazel eyes caught her attention. Waverly and Nicole looked at one another for a moment too long before Waverly broke it off, her eyes darting around the room until they finally landed on the floor in front of her. It was as though a fist had just punched through Nicole’s chest squeezing her heart until it burst in her chest. 

 

“-what the fuck is  _ she _ doing here?” Wynonna growled, taking a step towards Nicole. 

 

“I was just leaving, Earp,” Nicole said, holding her hands up in surrender her eyes on the floor. 

 

Nicole hurried towards the door keeping her head down. She didn’t miss the protective arm in front of Waverly as Wynonna moved her out of Nicole’s way. Tears stinging behind her eyes, Nicole tried to hold them in as she heard Wynonna’s voice echo behind her. 

  
  


***

 

Nicole poured the coffee into her cup, breathing in the strong scent hoping it might clear her head. It had been a long day already and it was only lunchtime.

 

Her morning had consisted of trying to do her work while ignoring Wynonna’s constant jabs, and pushing all thoughts of Waverly from her head. She resisted the urge to barge into the BBD office and tell Waverly exactly how she felt. That she just wanted to forget all this had ever happened and just wanted things to go back to how they used to be. But she couldn't do that and it wouldn't make any difference even if she did. So instead Nicole sat at her desk and tried to forget about Waverly. Which was easier said than done when Nicole knew that Waverly was just down the hall. 

 

She had done the best she could all morning to avoid any run-ins with Waverly and Wynonna. This had proven extremely difficult considering they all worked in the same building. It was fine. All she had to do was get through lunch and then she would be out on patrol for the rest of her shift. No way of running into the Earp sisters...unless she was needed for something BBD related, and knowing her luck there would be. 

 

Nicole blew on her coffee before taking a sip. She could feel the caffeine as it settled warm in her stomach and ran through her veins, her body relaxing a little. She rolled her shoulders and turned to sit at the nearest table to her.  

 

Nicole nearly dropped her mug when she saw Wynonna watching her from the doorway of the break room, arms crossed over her chest hip leaning against the frame. 

 

Nicole’s stomach twisted and she sighed. She knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. Better sooner rather than later right? Nicole sucked in a breath preparing herself. 

 

“We need to talk, Haught,” Wynonna said, pushing herself off of the door frame and making her way into the room. 

 

“If you’re here to threaten me to stay away from Waverly there's no need. Dolls beat you to it this morning,” Nicole said dully, pulling a chair out and sitting down at the table. 

 

Something passed over Wynonna’s face briefly. She shook her head and wandered over to Nicole, but didn’t sit down. Instead, she leaned in, resting her elbows on the tabletop her face only a few inches away from Nicole’s. Wynonna was so close that Nicole could still smell the faintest hint on whiskey on her breath-- presumably from the night before. She hoped...but with Wynonna, you could never be sure. 

 

“Then consider this your second warning,” Wynonna said in a low voice, blue eyes burning and locked on to brown. “I don't know why Dolls isn't kicking you off the team but unfortunately we have to do everything lizard man says. So just back off Waverly if you love her."

 

Nicole sighed. No matter how many times she heard Waverly’s name it didn’t make it any easier. Her heart broke anew every single time. 

 

“Waverly wants me to stay away, Wynonna, so that’s what I’m going to do. Unless  _ she _ tells me otherwise,” Nicole said in a firm voice. 

 

Wynonna poked her finger into Nicole’s chest and moved closer until they were nose to nose. 

 

“Stay,” Wynonna poked her chest again, “away,” another poke, “from my sister,” Wynonna finished with a final, albeit harder, jab to Nicole’s chest. “Got it?” 

 

Wynonna backed away, her hand resting on Peacemaker in its holster, the implication crystal clear. 

 

“If that’s what Waverly wants,” Nicole reiterated. 

 

“Waverly’s the only reason I haven’t sent you down already. Remember  _ that _ the next time you even  _ think  _ about looking at my sister,” Wynonna warned. 

 

With that, Wynonna turned on her heel and left the room.

 

Nicole slumped in her chair letting her head hit against the table. “Great day. Perfect,” she muttered against the cool surface. 


	9. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there Earpers!
> 
> How happy are we all right now then? WE GOT SEASON FOUR! And Wynonna Earp Funkos...they can take all my money! 
> 
> Anyways,
> 
> Here is the penultimate chapter for you guys (written by Boots). In this chapter hearts start to soften as the dust finally begins to settle. However some are more willing to forgive than others. 
> 
> As always a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for allowing me to pull her in and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Enjoy!

Nicole looked down at her forearm; the tattoo was still visible but faded at least. It wasn’t the stark black it had been before they had rescued Waverly. It made Nicole sick to even look at, but she knew it would have to fade soon. It probably was just taking longer because-...

 

Well because Waverly still wasn’t acknowledging her existence. It was hard not to harbor some kind of hate in her heart when she hated Carmen for destroying her life. Again. Hate made the tattoo appear. It was meant to be a constant reminder of her shortcomings. Of her past that had finally caught up with her.

 

Nicole roughly pulled down the sleeve of her uniform and buttoned the cuff. She ran a hand through her hair, noting that it was getting a little shaggy for her liking. She just hadn’t felt up to going anywhere other than work and home. The less chance she had of seeing Waverly, the better. 

 

Every time she ran into Waverly at work it was like a punch to the heart. The other woman would barely look at her. And if she did, there was that fear in her eyes that made Nicole sick to her stomach.

 

That pain in Waverly’s eyes was  _ her _ fault. She was the reason she looked terrified. And Nicole could never forgive herself. Looking in the mirror and seeing the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, Nicole realized she was over Carmen. She couldn’t give her the satisfaction of having any kind of emotion towards her. The tattoo wasn’t showing up because she hated Carmen It was showing up because she hated herself.

 

***

 

“Haught!”

 

At the sound of Dolls’ voice, Nicole’s head jerked up from where she was bent over her paperwork. He was standing in front of her desk, a less than amused look on his face.

 

“Yes, Dolls- er...sir,” Nicole said, blinking up at him.

 

“First off, I’m a little more than concerned that I walked all the way out of the BBD offices and to your desk without you noticing. Secondly, there’s a case that I think we’re going to be needing your expertise on,” he said, the same stoic look on his face he always had. Especially these days. But an offer to work on a case with BBD. Well, Nicole wasn’t about to pass that up.

 

“First off, I’m just a little tired lately. And secondly, of course,” Nicole said with a nod. She thought for a second, playing with her pen nervously. “Is um...is Waverly working the case? She doesn’t exactly want me around these days.”

 

“Little Earp is working the case, but I already got her go ahead for having you on the team,” Dolls said, leaning forward on Nicole’s desk. “So. You’re in then?”

 

“I’m in,” Nicole said. “What do you need?”

 

“Meet us behind the station at twenty-two thirty. It’s a recon mission and we need a sniper,” Dolls pushed himself up from her desk and backed away from it. He fixed her with a look that she could only describe as warning and she resisted the urge to salute him.

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

***

 

As far as roles in missions went, Nicole wasn’t necessarily thrilled with hers. Wynonna, Waverly, Dolls and Doc were in the Town Hall trying to bring down a clan of vampires that had taken over the basement. Nicole had been relegated to sniping from the roof of the coffee shop across the street. Which was all fine and well, even if it mostly involved her sitting in the cold without moving, eye through the scope of her gun as she waited for the chance to shoot the leader with the special UV rounds Jeremy had made.

 

It sucked. But it sure as hell beat being in there with everyone. Only because of the looks they still gave her. Wynonna was as hostile as ever and Waverly just kind of...ignored her. So this was better. She would sit here, do her part and take out the bad guy. She could still be part of the team, even if most of the team didn’t want her there.

 

She had been on the roof for what felt like forever, although her watch told her it had only been an hour and a half. Her fingers were stiff from the cold, but they remained poised on the trigger of the gun, just waiting.

 

Suddenly there was movement in the building and Nicole narrowed her focus through the scope. She saw Dolls, gun raised. Waverly close behind him. Nicole’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. Long hair tied up into a bun, exposing her neck. Nicole shook her head and focused again. No need to get distracted by her girlfr-...ex…

 

She saw a man in a long black coat appear just as Wynonna ran out into the room. She stopped, Peacemaker raised and aimed at the man in the coat. She was standing in front of him so Nicole didn’t have a clear shot. Wynonnna’s position closest to the window meant that she was blocking most everyone in the room.

 

Dolls voice rang in the headset in Nicole’s ear. “You have the shot, Haught?”

 

“No. Wynonna, move a little to your right,” Nicole responded. The crosshairs were aimed directly where the man’s heart would be if Wynonna’s shoulder wasn’t in the way.

 

“I move to the right and you have a clear shot of Waverly,” Wynonna said. Voice hard.

 

Anger flared in Nicole’s chest, finger tightening on the trigger. “Earp. Move so I can get the shot.”

 

“I’ll shoot ‘em with Peacemaker.”

 

“Move!” Nicole shouted.

 

“Wynonna,” Dolls said in warning, “let Haught take the shot.”

 

“I’ve got this,” Wynonna said. Nicole heard Peacemaker go off and cursed to herself. She watched in the scope as the man in the coat jerked back a little at the force of the gunshot. But then he just cackled and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

 

“Fuck!” Nicole yelled.

 

“Earp! Why didn’t you move?” Dolls said. Nicole left the gun set up and climbed down off of the roof, anger boiling over as she walked towards the team that was coming out of the building. Wynonna led the pack, eyes on Nicole. When Wynonna got close enough, she pushed Nicole’s chest, forcing her to stumble back.

 

“Don’t you ever tell me to move like that again,” Wynonna seethed.

 

Nicole pushed Wynonna’s hands away and straightened her spine to full height. “I had the shot, Wynonna. He could have been dead!”

 

“He’s already dead. He’s a vampire, dumbass,” Wynonna said in a mocking tone. 

 

“Both of you stop!” Dolls boomed, standing between the two of them and staring them down. “We have to work together! We can’t keep up this petty arguing or else a hell of a lot more than vampires are going to start getting away.”

 

“But-” Wynonna started before Dolls interrupted.

 

“No, Wynonna. You’re to blame too,” he said. “When we’re working as a team, we’re just that. A  _ team _ . I need you to start acting like it. I don’t care what you do outside of the team, I don’t care if you’re at each other’s throats. But when we’re working, we’re working. Clear?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Crystal.”

 

Nicole and Wynonna continued to glare at each other until she pushed past Nicole, shoulders bumping. Waverly walked behind her, eyes catching Nicole’s. Her whole body softened, still as pliant under Waverly’s gaze as the last time they touched. She swore she saw the smallest hint of a smile at the corner of Waverly’s lips as she walked past her and Nicole’s heart sped up a little. 

 

Doc hung behind for a moment and clapped Nicole on the shoulder just as Dolls went to the van. He held her with his gaze, expression almost unreadable under his mustache.

 

“You know, Officer, even if you may be doubtful with Wynonna some other hearts might be softening,” he said. He pushed his hat back, hands resting on his belt. “Sometimes small gestures are all that is needed to help that along.”

 

Nicole felt a small seed of hope in her chest, eyebrows raising into her hairline. “Yeah?”

 

Doc nodded once. “Yes, ma’am. And Waverly has been complaining about the state of the coffee in the offices lately. That and she has refused to step foot into the coffee house for fear of an unpleasant encounter. But if someone were to bring her said coffee...well...”

 

He trailed off, tipped his hat at her and walked to the BBD van waiting for him. Nicole felt her mind going a million miles a minute, a stubbornly hopeful smile curling at her lips.

 

***

 

The next morning, Nicole stood nervously outside of the kitchen with a coffee cup in her hand. It was from the coffee shop that she and Waverly used to go to every morning. The same one that she was worried about going back to for fear of seeing Waverly in there one day. But it seemed like Waverly was doing the same, according to Doc.

 

Nicole had watched Waverly walk into the kitchen a few minutes before and decided that it was her moment. Now or never. With a deep breath, she took a step into the kitchen, thankful that no one else was in there. Just Waverly struggling and cursing at the coffee maker. Nicole knocked on the door frame to alert Waverly of her presence. The other woman jumped in shock, hand on her heart when she noticed it was Nicole.

 

“Sorry,” Nicole apologized, stomach flipping nervously. “I just-...I have a coffee for you. A...peace...offering.”

 

Waverly looked at her for a moment before the smallest smile tilted her lips. 

 

Nicole took a few steps forward, stopping short. She would let Waverly come to her. She didn’t want to come off as...aggressive. She held the coffee cup out in front of her, small smile on her face as Waverly stepped forward. Waverly’s eyes were on her as she reached out to take the cup, their fingers brushing ever so slightly. Sparks still went up Nicole’s arm at the touch and she realized how much she  _ missed  _ Waverly. She knew she missed her before, but the way their skin touched was like fire. She missed holding her and kissing her and just being near her.

 

“Thanks,” Waverly said softly, interrupting Nicole’s thoughts.

 

“You’re welcome,” she responded quickly with a smile that was gone as fast as it came. Waverly flashed her a small smile too, looking up at Nicole but not moving. Like she had something to say. Nicole stood there, barely breathing as if the very act would disrupt whatever thoughts Waverly was having. She felt like she was watching a baby deer, hoping it would come closer but knowing any sudden movement might send it fleeing.

 

“I um-...appreciate it,” Waverly finally said before moving back out of the kitchen and back to the BBD offices.

 

“No problem,” Nicole whispered to herself, head dizzy from the whiff of Waverly’s perfume that she got as the shorter woman passed. And the tiny seed of hope only grew.

 

***

 

Nicole made it a habit. Every day she brought Waverly a coffee. For the first week Waverly just gave Nicole a barely there smile and a small thanks. The next week, Nicole nearly fell out of her desk.

 

“So...how have you been?” Waverly asked as Nicole handed her the coffee.

 

Nicole sat there for a second in shock before answering. “Um good! I mean. Fine. You know. Con...sidering.”

 

Waverly nodded and the two looked at each other for a moment. Waverly started to walk away and Nicole cleared her throat, desperate to keep her around.

 

“H-how about you?” she asked.

 

“Fine,” Waverly said, smile lingering for a moment longer. “Just...work.”

 

“Yeah, work,” Nicole agreed easily.

 

“Well...I’ll see you,” Waverly said, backing up towards the BBD door. “Thank you again.”

 

“No problem, Waves,” Nicole said softly. Waverly’s cheeks tinted a little at the nickname before she turned and walked into BBD. Nicole smiled the first genuine smile she’d had in months.

 

***

 

By the next week, they were exchanging simple pleasantries. A simple ‘how are you’ or ‘good morning’ was enough to get Nicole by. Was it pathetic? Sure. That didn’t mean Nicole wasn’t living for those little moments. Each little moment she spent with Waverly was enough to get her through Wynonna’s passive aggressive comments and constant verbal abuse.

 

One morning, Nicole was sitting at her desk with Waverly’s coffee ready for her on the desk. Waverly walked into the offices in a huff, practically stomping over to Nicole’s desk. She dropped her bag on the ground, picked up the coffee between her hands and sat on the edge of Nicole’s desk. Nicole looked up at Waverly, eyes wide as the brunette shook her head.

 

“You know what I hate?” Waverly said, eyes narrow.

 

“What?” Nicole practically breathed.

 

“How no one takes me seriously anymore,” Waverly said. “Wynonna doesn’t think I can take care of myself. She doesn’t even let me go into town by myself anymore.”

 

Nicole waited for a beat before answering. “I think she’s just...worried about you.”

 

“I know she is but-” Waverly through up her hands in frustration. “-when will it end?”

 

“You’re the only one she has in the world. With her and Doc strained, Dolls being...Dolls and Alice gone,” Nicole shrugged. “It would kill her if anything happened to you. But she’ll realize that she’s pushing you away.”

 

“You think so?” Waverly said, playing with the sleeve of her coffee cup.

 

Nicole nodded confidently. “I know so. Wynonna does this. She’ll go so far one direction and then realize she needs to pull back.”

 

“It’s just annoying,” Waverly huffed.

 

Nicole tucked her hands into her lap to avoid reaching out for Waverly’s hand. Something she used to do regularly and often. Something that might actually get her shot these days.

 

“I know. But you know Wynonna better than anyone. She’ll loosen up,” Nicole assured her.

 

“You’re right,” Waverly said with a small smile. “You have the annoying tendency to do that.”

 

Nicole froze for a moment before she saw the smile on Waverly’s face. She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled back.

 

“The tendency to what?”

 

“Be right,” Waverly said before looking down at her coffee. Nicole’s heart warmed a little just as Waverly stood up and picked her bag up off the ground. “Well, thank you for the coffee. Again.”

 

“Anytime, Waves,” Nicole said, unable to wipe the smile off of her face as Waverly walked back into the BBD offices.

 

***

 

Every morning, Nicole and Waverly would sit and have a conversation. Not about anything much. Mostly about just...what was happening around town or whatever Wynonna had done now. It was nice. Like they were friends again. And if that’s all Waverly was ever willing to give her, Nicole would be happy. To have Waverly in her life in any capacity...well Nicole would do a lot for that. Even if it meant bringing her coffee every day until she died.

 

One day, Waverly sat on Nicole’s desk per usual, but didn’t say much. Nicole just sat there, watching Waverly’s hands pick and pull at the coffee sleeve.

 

“Do you-...” Waverly frowned, tongue wetting her lips. “Do you ever get lonely?”

 

“Constantly,” Nicole answered before she could even think.

 

Waverly’s head whipped over to Nicole, brown eyes finding hazel as they stared at each other just a beat too long. Nicole watched a flurry of emotions passing over Waverly’s face before she shook her head, eyes shut.

 

“Nicole. We need to...we have to stop this,” Waverly said.

 

Nicole shrugged, a small panic starting in her belly. “Waverly it’s...just coffee.”

 

Waverly stood abruptly from the desk, a bite to her voice that wasn’t there before. “It’s not just coffee. I know you, Nicole. It’s never just coffee.”

 

“I’m just...trying to be  _ nice, _ Waves,” Nicole defended.

 

“Then stop trying to be nice!” Waverly said, “And stop calling me ‘Waves’.” 

 

“Fine, I will,” Nicole said with nothing more than an exasperated sigh, even while her carefully mended heart was breaking.

 

“And stop trying to manipulate me!” Waverly said before turning on her heel and stalking towards the BBD door. Nicole watched her go, stomach twisting and throat closing in sadness. She swallowed thickly, tears burning behind her eyes.

 

“One step forward, two steps back,” she muttered to herself as she tried to bury herself in her paperwork.

 

***

 

The next morning, Nicole tried to keep her head down to avoid any kind of accidental eye contact with Waverly. The hollow sound of a paper cup being set on her desk made her look up and she saw Waverly standing there, an apologetic smile on her face.

 

“I thought...maybe it was time for me to bring you coffee,” Waverly said. “And to...say sorry. For yesterday.”

 

Nicole shook her head and took the coffee. “It’s...it’s fine,” she said, hope springing anew. “It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not,” Waverly whispered, sad smile playing on her lips. “Thank you for trying to make me feel better. But you don’t have to take a bullet for me all the time.”

 

“I would gladly take any bullet for you, Waves-” Nicole caught herself with a blush. “Er...Waverly.”

 

“Waves is fine,” she clarified. With one more quick smile, Waverly turned and walked away. Nicole blinked down at the coffee before taking a sip. Cappuccino. Her favorite.

 

***

 

Things had been going fairly smoothly the past couple of weeks in the offices. Nicole and Waverly were talking. Really talking. They didn’t text or call each other outside of work, but in the offices they bantered and spoke to each other with a familiarity that Nicole had missed probably more than anything.

 

Wynonna clearly hated it, still sending Nicole threatening glances whenever she saw them talking or even existing in the same room. Thankfully Waverly ignored it, so Nicole did too. 

 

There had been flirting.

 

Very basic, not obvious flirting that could be seen as just two girls having fun. But it made Nicole nervous and excited all at the same time. She was afraid to put herself out there if it was all going to crumble to the ground later. She didn’t think her heart could take it.

 

But it was hard not to look at Waverly’s lingering glances or the way she would look down at Nicole’s lips sometimes and  _ hope  _ for something more. Some little hint of something.

 

One night they were working late on a case. Wynonna was passed out in Dolls’ office and Waverly was sitting cross legged on her desk, papers strewn all around. Nicole was sitting on the chair next to Waverly’s desk, helping her go through the files. Their heads were bent, fairly close in proximity but nothing scandalous. Nicole was almost too engrossed in the case to even notice except for the small hint of Waverly’s perfume in her nose.

 

One of the files across the desk caught Nicole’s eye and she stood up, leaning over to pick it up. “Look at this, Waves,” she said.

 

Waverly leaned closer, chin practically on Nicole’s shoulder as she read. “Oh shitballs,” she breathed, “Do you think this means-”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Nicole said in excitement. “I think we got ‘im.”

 

Waverly practically squealed and threw her arms around Nicole’s neck in excitement. Nicole naturally returned the hug, her entire body flushing with her proximity to Waverly. Long brown hair tickled her nose; perfume lit up her senses. Nicole’s hands rested lightly on Waverly’s back, afraid to break the spell that she seemed to be under. Because  _ Waverly  _ was hugging her. It made Nicole’s heart ache with happiness and sadness all at the same time. And  _ god  _ had Nicole missed this.

 

The hug lasted probably a beat too long to be friendly, but not long enough for Nicole’s liking. As Waverly pulled back, their eyes caught and Waverly looked just as surprised as Nicole. Waverly’s hands trailed down Nicole’s arms, playing with the cuff where her shirt was folded up to her elbows. Nicole swallowed thickly, staying as still as she could in case it would crack whatever bubble had formed around them. 

 

“Nicole,” Waverly finally whispered. Her eyes flickered down to Nicole’s lips and her heart soared stubbornly, even while trying to not to read too much into it. That’s where the heartbreak would come from.

 

“Yes?” she replied, heart practically beating out of her chest If she concentrated really hard, she swore she could feel Waverly’s breath on her lips.

 

“Do you...miss me?” Waverly asked, voice soft and vulnerable. It made Nicole want to scoop her up again and hold her close.

 

“Oh, Waves,” Nicole said with a sad smile, “I miss you more than anything.”

 

Waverly’s throat flexed as she swallowed thickly, eyes searching Nicole’s face. Nicole watched with bated breath as Waverly slowly leaned forward into her space, her breathing shallow. Nicole knew they were about to kiss and it would probably be the worst idea in the world but she needed it more than air. Waverly was so close Nicole could practically taste her.

 

“Hey! You find that lead yet?” Wynonna’s voice came as she walked out of Dolls’ office. Nicole practically jumped away from Waverly, her heart pounding and hands shaky. She looked over at Wynonna who...thankfully seemed oblivious to what she had just interrupted. Nicole was sure if she knew there would be a bullet between her eyes right now.

 

“Y-yeah,” Nicole said, clearing her throat as she held up the file for Wynonna to see. “We got him.”

 

Nicole looked back at Waverly, who looked at her briefly before looking away. She jumped off the desk and ran a hand through her long hair. She smiled at Wynonna but Nicole noticed the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

 

“Why don’t we go get him, Wy?” Waverly said, eyes darting back to Nicole every so often. “You and me. Like a sister bonding thing. You know. Hang out. Take out some demons. Typical sister stuff.”

 

“Sure,” Wynonna said with a shrug. 

 

Nicole felt her heart drop and she took a small step closer to Waverly. She was worried everything had been ruined in that brief moment of weakness between them. 

 

“Waves,” she whispered, “Can we-?”

 

“I’ll see you later, Nicole,” Waverly said with a stiff smile. “Tomorrow. Yeah?”

 

Nicole took a step back. She got the hint. It was a mistake. A giant stupid mistake. “Um...yeah. Tomorrow.”

 

Nicole stayed behind as Wynonna and Waverly armed themselves for the mission, leaving with only a small backwards glance at Nicole. The redhead sat at the desk and cleaned up the files that were still scattered around. It was getting harder to swallow and all she could think about was how close Waverly had been to her. How easy it could have been to lean over and kiss her like she’d been dreaming about for months. And how easily that whole thing had destroyed them. How it ruined the tentative friendship that had been built over the past several weeks. And Nicole let herself cry, forehead pressed to her desk.


	10. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. 
> 
> So here is it...the final chapter (written by thegaynerd). This fic has been so much fun to write despite all of the angst. Its been refreshing to be able to write another side to Nicole. We hope you've enjoyed it too!
> 
> In this chapter Waverly gets answers, Nicole is as chivalrous as ever and things might be on the mend...finally!
> 
> And for the last time a special shout out to [Bootsncatz](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) for writing this story with me and also to [LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/moxiepurzell) for being our awesome beta!  
> Anyways, ENJOY!

Nicole drummed her fingers against the side of the paper coffee cup. She looked over the photographs of dead bodies for what must have been the hundredth time. She felt sick to her stomach and took a sip of her coffee to try and swallow it down. Nicole had examined this photo so many times, but it never got any easier. She had been involved…no. She had been associated with people that could do something like this.

 

Nicole dropped the photograph and picked up a list of known associates. She couldn't stand to look at the dead bodies anymore.

 

Dolls had asked her to go over the case and see if she could spot something that they had missed. Bulshar had been quiet for months, and she could tell it had the team on edge. Honestly so was she. Carmen had gone quiet despite her being sure it wasn't the last they had seen of her. A part of Nicole had hoped that maybe Bulshar had taken care of that little problem for them.

 

Nicole's mind wandered to Waverly far more often than she would've liked. It had been nearly 5 months since the cult had taken her and Waverly had discovered the truth about Nicole’s past. Things between them were better now than they had been a few months ago. Less hostile. But honestly Nicole had never felt farther away from Waverly.

 

They hadn't really talked in a while. Not like they had done before the...moment in the BBD office. It was like Waverly was avoiding any kind of situation where they would be alone together. Wynonna was still being a royal pain in the ass but the rest of the team seemed to be coming round…slowly. She couldn't help but wonder if Doc had anything to do with it. Sure they were still a long way from what they used to be but at least it made working together a lot more bearable. She ignored the fact that every time she saw Waverly it felt like a fist was clenched around her heart squeezing it until it was about to burst.

 

Nicole scanned the list of names. Most of them were familiar to her, but there were some new additions. She looked away quickly when her eyes landed on Tobias’ name. That day still haunted her, the decision she made. On more than a few occasions Nicole had nightmares about it. She would wake up in a cold sweat and try to convince herself that she’d _had_ to shoot him. It was him or Waverly. Still, it didn't stop her stomach twisting with disgust and guilt every time.

 

Nicole hadn't told anyone about shooting Tobias. The secret ate away at her soul.

 

Nicole dropped the list and picked up another sheet of paper which outlined statistics about each massacre. The years. The body counts. She was so lost in her own thoughts that the coffee shop around her faded out.

 

“Hey,” came a familiar voice breaking Nicole out of her bubble.

 

Nicole’s head snapped up in shock to see Waverly smiling at her with a guilty look on her face.

 

“Hey,” Nicole breathed out.

 

Nicole suddenly realised what she had scattered across the table, and found herself scrambling to shove everything back into the folder. The last thing Waverly needed was to see what Nicole had been working on...the reminder of what she had been through. So many details of which remained a mystery to Nicole.

 

“What’s this?” Waverly asked picking up a sheet of paper before Nicole had time to put it away, and sliding into the seat across from Nicole.

 

Nicole watched helplessly, holding her breath as Waverly’s eyes scanned the page, and waiting for the moment that Waverly realised-

 

“Oh,” Waverly’s shoulders slumped, eyes avoiding Nicole’s as she dropped the file back onto the table. Nicole felt her heart crack when she saw the pained look on Waverly’s face.

 

“Dolls asked me to look over some things!” Nicole rushed out, panicked.

 

Nicole watched Waverly carefully with low shallow breaths. Afraid to even move for fear that she might scare Waverly away. The silence that stretched out between them seemed to last forever. A million images raced through Nicole’s mind. Waverly chained up in that place. The look on her face when she saw Nicole for the first time after she had been taken. The cuts and bruises that marked her skin for what must have been weeks after she had been rescued. The scars that lingered. The fear in her eyes when she looked at Nicole.

 

Nicole’s hand twitched, fighting against the urge to reach out and take Waverly’s hand. To comfort her. Nicole let her hands drop to her lap, rubbing her sweaty palms against her pants before tapping her fingers against her knee.

 

Her eyes burned, tears threatening to spill over at any moment. Nicole sucked in a breath forcing the words that had been stuck in her throat to come out.

 

“I’m so so sorry, Waverly. I’m sorry that this happened to you. I should have-. I never wanted to hurt you and I’ve made such a huge mess of things. It sounds so stupid but I-I thought I was doing the right thing. That I was protecting you,” Nicole said in a pleading voice.

 

Waverly slowly looked over at Nicole, hazel eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Nicole’s heart squeezed and shattered in her chest. She couldn’t look at Waverly anymore. The haunted look on Waverly’s face, the fear in her eyes. Every time she saw it it felt like she was being torn up from the inside out knowing she was to blame.

 

Nicole looked down at her hands and squeezed her eyes shut, “I didn't know…if I'd have known what I was involved in. I mean _really_ known I-I would never have...” Nicole said letting her sentence trail off.

 

Nicole felt a hand on her arm, and she stiffened, her eyes surprised by the source of the warmth before looking over to see Waverly looking back at her, a small sad smile on her face. Nicole felt her whole body relax when Waverly started stroking her arm with her thumb soothing her.

 

“I think I’m starting to figure that out,” Waverly said.

 

“Waverly?” A voice called out across the coffee shop.

 

Waverly’s hand dropped from Nicole’s arm as the other woman stood and straightened out her skirt. Nicole felt the loss instantly.

 

“That’s my cue,” Waverly said as she started towards the counter.

 

Nicole wanted to beg Waverly to stay, but she knew she couldn’t. Had no right to. Instead all she could do was watch Waverly leave. Nicole looked away not sure she could handle seeing Waverly walk away from her again. Nicole felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find Waverly standing next to her.

 

“What time do you finish?”

 

“Four.”

 

Waverly nodded.

 

“Waverly?” the barista called out again.

 

“I’ve got to go. We both know what Wynonna’s like if she doesn’t get her coffee and doughnuts,” Waverly chuckled, “Meet back here at 4.15?”

 

“Sure,” Nicole answered a little too quickly, “I mean-. I’d like that,” Nicole smiled, hope sparking in her chest again.  

 

“Order for Waverly,” the barista called out impatiently.

 

“I’ve really got to go, I’ll see you later, Nicole,” Waverly gave Nicole’s shoulder a small squeeze before rushing off towards the counter.

 

“Yeah. See you later,” Nicole whispered to herself trying to wrap her mind around what had happened.

  


***

  


It had quieted down by the time Nicole made her way over to the table in the far corner of the coffee shop where she and Waverly usually sat for their weekly...whatever this was.

 

Things had improved between them over the past couple of weeks, since the day Waverly had run into Nicole going over the Bulshar case. When they'd met up later that day it had been a little awkward between them at first...but that was to be expected. It had been months since the two of them had been alone together, away from BBD.

 

They didn’t broach the Bulshar subject again. Waverly hadn’t mentioned it and honestly Nicole had been too scared to bring it up in fear that Waverly would bolt.

 

Waverly had slowly started to ask Nicole questions about her past. Not delving too deep, almost like she was working her way up to the big question Nicole knew was coming. She didn’t want to be the one to bring it up, unwilling to force Waverly into an uncomfortable situation that she clearly wasn't ready for. Honestly Nicole wasn't exactly looking forward to having the conversation but there was no point hiding any of it anymore. Waverly knew the worst of it now, Carmen had made sure of that.

 

Nicole set the cups down on the table and slid into her seat, checking the time on her phone again as she got comfortable.

 

_7.45 pm_

 

It wasn’t like Waverly to be late. Normally she would meet Nicole outside at 7.30 pm sharp before ordering their drinks, and they would sit at the same table every week. _Their_ table. Panic started to set in as Nicole looked out the window onto the street and back at the empty seat opposite her. Waverly hadn’t said she wouldn’t be joining her for coffee when she had run into her earlier at the station.

 

What if Waverly had changed her mind? Or worse, what if she had been taken again?

 

Just as Nicole was about to run out of the coffee shop to search the streets of Purgatory a sudden tap on the window stopped her. She looked over in time to see Waverly waving at her. The bell above the door rang as Waverly walked through the door and made her way over to Nicole. She could tell from the look on Waverly’s face that something was bothering her.  

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Waverly said pulling her coat off and draping it over the back of the chair.

 

“Oh no it’s...fine. I got you the herbal tea you like,” Nicole said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

 

“Thanks.” Waverly pulled the lid off and lifted it up to her face, sitting for a moment in silence. Eyes down.

 

Nicole bit her bottom lip and shifted in her seat, “Are you...okay?” she asked, body stiff afraid to hear the answer.

 

Waverly eyes flicked up to meet Nicole’s briefly before they were back on the cup in front of her again.

 

“Yeah just….Wynonna,” Waverly said rolling her eyes.

 

“Oh. Does she-? I mean have you told her...about our coffee d-. That we meet up for coffee?” Nicole tapped her finger against the side of her cup nervously, eyes looking anywhere but Waverly.

 

“No.”

 

Nicole nodded and gave a tight lipped smile but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like she had expected Waverly to tell her sister. It was probably a good thing she hadn’t because Wynonna would only show up, Peacemaker in hand. So why did it hurt so much?

 

“Actually…” Waverly started before shaking her head and going quiet again.

 

“What is it, Waves?”

 

Nicole moved her hand to reach for Waverly’s stopping herself halfway. Her finger drawing a pattern on the table in the space between them instead.

 

“It’s nothing,” Waverly said, still not looking at Nicole.

 

“Waverly, please?” Nicole asked concerned.

 

“It was something that Wynonna said earlier it...it got me thinking and I-.” Waverly sucked in a breath her eyes finally meeting Nicole’s.

 

“How did you...why did you join?”

 

Nicole looked at Waverly with a furrowed brow.

 

“Bulshar,” Waverly clarified.

 

“Oh.”

 

Nicole shifted in her seat and took a sip of her coffee to wet her lips, trying to make her mouth work.

 

“I know you and...Carmen were--but you aren’t stupid Nicole.”

 

“I was back then,” Nicole huffed out without thinking. She cleared her throat and pushed forward, “You remember when I told you I don't talk to my parents anymore?”

 

Waverly nodded.

 

Nicole poked her tongue out slightly and wet her lips. “When I told you they threw me out, I might have...embellished a little. I didn’t find an apartment right away. I was...living in my car.” Nicole said, a little ashamed.

 

Waverly’s eyes softened, “Where?”

 

“A truck stop a few towns over. I met Carmen at a pretty low point in my life. At the time she seemed like a dream come true...I thought she saved me,” Nicole scoffed shaking her head. The idea of it seemed so ridiculous to her now. “I was twenty two, lost and desperate to be accepted. To be loved.”

 

Nicole flinched as the memory flooded her thoughts. It all sounded so stupid. Beautiful women didn’t just walk into your life, pick you up out of the gutter and help you get back on your feet without some sort of cost. Well...most beautiful women. Nicole softened as she looked over at Waverly thinking to herself that’s exactly what Waverly would do...but Waverly Earp wasn’t just any woman.

 

Waverly looked back at Nicole with a small soft smile. The spark of hope in Nicole’s chest ignited and her heart kicked up a beat as they stared at each other for a beat too long. Waverly cleared her throat and shifted in her seat before sitting up straight.

 

“So she offered you love and in return you...what? Decided to join her cause?” Waverly said, a bite in her voice that hadn’t been there minutes ago, eyes back down on her tea as she took another sip.

 

“No,” Nicole defended, “I didn’t know what she was involved in at the time. We started dating and everything seemed fine. She offered to let me stay at one of her apartments until I got back on my feet. Things seemed normal. Even when she introduced me to her _friends_.”

 

Nicole paused, unconsciously tapping her fingers against the wooden surface, watching Waverly closely as she absorbed the information.

 

“Is this-? Are you okay with this?” Nicole asked.

 

Waverly nodded, “I need to know why, Nicole.”

 

Nicole sucked in a breath and prepared herself to continue. It was the least she could do. To help Waverly understand. She deserved an explanation. This is what Nicole had been waiting for...a chance to explain herself.

 

“I was in love with her...at least I thought I was. She was very good at manipulating me. My feelings for her. By the time I started to question things about her friends and what they did I was in too deep. She had me and I felt like I owed her. I _thought_ I did. Anyway, at the time I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. That’s what I told myself, I gave them the information they needed and in return, I got a family. A girlfriend that loved me,” Nicole laughed humorlessly, “it wasn't like I was breaking the law...or so I thought.”

 

Nicole’s eyes found Waverly’s and she shrugged, “I said I was stupid.”

 

“So at what point did stupid turn into kidnapping?” Waverly asked in a hard voice, stern look on her face.

 

Nicole sat back against the chair, guilt pooled in her chest and she couldn’t take the look on Waverly’s face anymore. Nicole ran a hand through her hair and let her eyes drift around the coffee shop for the first time since Waverly had arrived. It was almost empty except for a man sitting in the corner working on his laptop and drinking his coffee.

 

“Nicole?” Waverly said impatiently, bringing Nicole back to her.

 

Nicole looked back at Waverly not sure how long she could take the way the brunette was looking at her. At least Waverly was talking to her right?

 

“Are you sure you want to do this now, Waves? Here?”

 

Waverly crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at Nicole. The look on her face told Nicole that she wasn’t going to let this drop any time soon. Honestly, Nicole really didn’t want to go there. The memory was so long suppressed that even thinking about it now sent a chill down her spine. Nicole swallowed the lump in her throat, her tongue momentarily sticking to the roof of her mouth. She lifted the cup, suddenly finding it very interesting as she drank the cold coffee. She wet her lips with her tongue before she continued.

 

“I didn’t exactly have a choice,” Nicole said flatly, eyes focusing on a spot behind Waverly.

 

Waverly remained silent, arms still folded.

 

“Carmen took me along to one of her ‘meetings’ after we’d been dating for a while and I-” Nicole swallowed down the bile rising in her throat, “-I saw what happened to people who didn’t...comply. I think it was her way of threatening me you know? Anyway, after that, she would take me with her more and more even as I refused to be a part of it but by that point, I really was in too deep and I was too scared to leave her for fear of what she might do to me. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t even look at myself so...I ran.”

 

Nicole paused and tried to push the memories from her head. She hadn’t thought about it for a long time. Until recently anyway. Not until the cult had taken Waverly and all she could see was Waverly being tortured somewhere. The screams that echoed down the hallways morphing into Waverly’s voice.

 

Nicole chanced a look at Waverly, her stomach turning for fear of what she might find when she looked into hazel eyes.

 

“I ran...to Vegas,” Nicole finally finished, eyes still on Waverly.

 

Nicole watched as realization washed over Waverly.

 

“Where you met Shae?” Waverly asked.

 

“Where I met Shae,” Nicole confirmed. “That’s how Carmen did it…”

 

“Did what?” Waverly asked, confused.

 

“Turned me to kidnapping.”

 

“Because of Shae?” Waverly said even more confused.

 

Nicole shifted in her seat trying to find her voice again through the lump in her throat, her salvia feeling more like glue with each passing second. She sucked in a breath and continued.

 

“I came home drunk one night and told Shae...a lot more than I should have. It was stupid and I put her in danger but I-,” she swallowed, “I came home, we had an argument and it slipped out. After that Shae started to ask questions and Carmen found out, she wasn’t happy about it. She threatened Shae’s life if I didn’t do what she _asked_ . I think one of her _disciples_ must have tipped her off or something.”

 

Waverly eyes went wide before she looked back down at the table, “Oh.”

 

Waverly’s phone started ringing. She turned in her chair searching her coat until she found it. Her eyes wide when she checked the caller ID. Nicole didn’t need to ask her who it was.

 

“Wynonna,” Waverly answered in a high pitched voice as she stood and walked out of earshot.

 

Nicole’s heart sank as she watched Waverly walk away. She knew what that phone call meant. Their evening was over. Sure, reliving the biggest mistake of her life hadn’t been fun by any means but Nicole couldn't help but be selfish when it came to her time with Waverly.

 

_9.17 pm. Shit._

 

Nicole slid her phone back into her pocket as Waverly walked back to their table.

 

“Past curfew?” Nicole asked with a small sad smile trying to lighten the mood.

 

“Yeah,” Waverly huffed, “I didn’t know it was so late.”

 

Nicole stood and picked up her jacket, unsure exactly where she and Waverly stood after their conversation. A part of her was too afraid to ask.

 

“Same time next week?” Nicole asked nervously as she put her coat on.

 

“Sure,” Waverly said.

 

Nicole nodded and started to walk out of the coffee shop.

 

“Nicole?” Waverly called after her.

 

Nicole turned to face Waverly who was already making her way towards the exit herself. “Yeah?”

 

“Would you-...Could you walk with me back to the station?” Waverly asked, fear swimming in hazel eyes.

 

“You walked here?” Nicole asked, shocked and a little concerned.

 

It wasn’t that she thought Waverly couldn’t take care of herself. Nicole had never doubted that, it was one of the reasons she loved Waverly. She believed it more than ever after what Waverly had gone through when she had been kidnapped. Not that she knew much. It was mostly guesswork on her part.

 

“I can’t walk around scared for the rest of my life, Nicole!” Waverly snapped.

 

Nicole held her hands up in surrender, “I know, Waves, I just-. Sure I’d like that,” Nicole smiled.

 

Waverly gave Nicole a shy smile before her eyes found the floor again, “I still can't go out at night,” Waverly confessed barely above a whisper.

 

It took all of Nicole’s self-control not to reach out and wrap her arm around Waverly. Instead, she opened the door and held it open for Waverly ensuring she stayed close as they made their way out of the coffee shop and onto the sidewalk.

 

***

 

Nicole and Waverly walked back to the Sheriff’s department in silence. Nicole watched Waverly out of the corner of her eye as her head seemed to dart around in every direction. Nicole hated what Carmen had done to her. What _she_ had done.

 

Waverly had seemed to be making progress since her return, or so Nicole thought. But then what did Nicole know? The only time she would see Waverly was either at work or more recently when they would meet for coffee. All she wanted to do was reach out and take Waverly’s hand to reassure her, let her know that everything was going to be okay. But how could she do that when she was part of the reason Waverly feared going out at night, why she would look over her shoulder when she thought nobody was watching.

 

“Waves?”

 

“Hm?” Waverly hummed as she whipped her head round to look straight ahead again.

 

Nicole wanted to tell her she was sorry, that she missed her, that she needed Waverly more than she needed to breathe and she would die before she ever let anything happen to her again.

 

Nicole balled her hands into fists ignoring the ache in her chest and the burning behind her eyes.

 

“Nothing,” Nicole sighed, shoving her hands in her pockets to stop from reaching out for Waverly as they both fell silent again.

 

They made it back to the municipal building a lot sooner than Nicole was really ready for. She knew there was still so much more that had to be said and she was just getting there until Wynonna had called and interrupted them. Some things never changed.

 

As they approached the red Jeep Nicole could already feel the loss of Waverly’s presence causing her heart to crack. Nicole wondered if there would ever come a time when that didn’t happen. That there wouldn’t be a giant hole in her heart and her life that had been there since she’d fucked everything up and lost Waverly.

 

“This is me,” Waverly half smiled, something swimming around in hazel eyes as she looked up at Nicole. Waverly opened her mouth as if to say something before closing it again, she shook her head squeezing her eyes shut before looking back up at Nicole. “See you tomorrow,” she said finally.

 

“See you tomorrow, Waves.” Nicole smiled despite the ache in her chest, turned on her heel and walked towards her cruiser.

 

***

 

Nicole stretched out, raising her hands above her head until her back popped. Rolling her neck, she bent back over the case file in front of her. Nicole’s vision blurred, exhaustion threatening to take over she propped her head up on her hands, blinking at the page a couple of times. There was a connection between Bulshar and the missing persons cases. She was sure of it.

 

Men who had been hunting in those woods since they were young boys didn’t just _get lost_. The list of missing people had started to grow, not to any real number yet, but enough to cause concern. Enough for her and BBD to notice.

 

Wynonna had left to do research her own way. Chase down bad guys, point guns and get answers. Everyone had somewhere to be when it came to this case because even for Purgatory this was weird. Nicole was just thankful for the peace and quiet. She rubbed at her temples to try and ease the headache she could feel building behind her eyes.

 

She heard the door open behind her and silently braced herself, something she always did just in case it was Wynonna. She turned fully in her seat with a bright smile on her face when she saw Waverly closing the door behind her, holding two coffee cups in her other hand.

 

“Hey,” Waverly smiled.

 

“Hey, Waves,”  Nicole smiled back, a little breathlessly.

 

Things between them had been a lot better recently. Waverly no longer looked at Nicole like she was a stranger to her. Sure, she still caught glimpses of Waverly checking over her shoulder or jumping at loud sudden noises but...slowly, she was coming back. Even with the bags under her eyes that Nicole could only assume was from lack of sleep.

 

“Please, _please_ tell me one of those is for me,” Nicole said with a sigh, letting her head drop onto her hand again before pushing herself up off of the chair. Her body was heavy from the lack of sleep, muscles tired from the long hours. She stretched again before turning to face Waverly.

 

“That depends,” Waverly smirked as she put the drink holder on her desk and slipped her coat off, unwrapping her scarf, hanging them up.

 

Nicole quirked an eyebrow a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips, “On?”

 

“If you’ve figured out why locals are going missing,” Waverly said walking further into the room towards Nicole.

 

Nicole slumped back down in her chair with a grunt, letting her head slump down onto the desk, “I know it’s connected I just can't figure out _how_ or _why_ ,” Nicole muttered into the wood.

 

Nicole stiffened slightly as she felt Waverly’s hand rub her back, breathing shallowly, afraid to move despite the ache in her back urging her to sit up.

 

“I think you’ve earned this,” Waverly smiled placing the coffee down next to Nicole who was still frozen in place with Waverly’s hand on her back.

 

“Thanks,” Nicole breathed out.

 

“You’re welcome,” Waverly said as she walked away to somewhere behind Nicole.

 

Nicole sat up slowly and half turned in her seat to see Waverly picking up a stack of files off of her desk before walking back towards where Nicole was sitting. She pulled a chair up to the side of Nicole’s desk and opened one of the files looking up at Nicole briefly with a smile before her focus returned to the file again.

 

Nicole watched dumbfounded as she tried to wrap her head around what was happening. She couldn’t help but be reminded of how they were together before the cult of Bulshar had shown up. Before Carmen had taken _her Waverly_ and everything changed.

 

They both descended into a comfortable silence as Nicole tried to focus on the list of missing persons. Not that she needed to, she had read it so many times she could probably recite every name on the list by now.

 

Waverly was just so close and Nicole just couldn’t ignore the familiarity of it all. She tried to quash the hope building in her chest as Waverly’s perfume lingered in the space between them, filling her senses and her head with ridiculous thoughts that maybe...just maybe, Waverly missed her too.  

 

Nicole looked unseeingly back down at the piece of paper in her hand and cleared her throat.

 

“This is nice,” she smiled, chancing a look at Waverly.

 

“It is,” Waverly smiled back.

 

Nicole was hypnotized. It had been so long since she had looked into Waverly’s eyes, really looked into them, without the brunette looking away. They stared at each other for a beat too long, something like affection swimming around in hazel eyes. Nicole wouldn’t let herself be so stupid to think it could be...love.

 

Waverly cleared her throat and suddenly looked away from Nicole, gathering up her scattered pieces of paper and shoving them back into the folder.

 

“I’ve um. I’ve gotta go.” Waverly rushed out refusing to look at Nicole.

 

Panic shot through Nicole and her brain scrambled to try and find the right words. Nicole reached out for Waverly but at the last second she changed her mind and put her hand over the top of the file in Waverly’s hands instead.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Nicole. I just-...I can’t-” Waverly mumbled refusing to look up.

 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-...can we just-...I want to be able to work together. To exist around each other. I didn’t mean to upset you, Waverly” Nicole blurted through her racing thoughts.

 

Waverly slowly lifted her head to look at Nicole and took a deep breath, “I know. Me too. Let’s be...friends. I can be friends.”

 

Something in Nicole’s gut twisted like she had been expecting more. It was stupid to think Waverly would want to be...could see Nicole as anything more than a friend now. There had just been so many brief moments over the last few weeks where Nicole had thought that maybe they would pull through. But if friends was all Waverly could do then Nicole would accept it gladly. She would rather be Waverly’s friend than not have her in her life at all.

 

“I just...I can be whatever you need me to be, Waves. Really. If you want to be friends or even just...awkward acquaintances,” Nicole chuckled trying to lighten the mood, “whatever you want,” she smiled.

 

“Friends...I can do friends,” Waverly repeated, tucking some hair behind her ear.

 

“Okay. Friends it is,” Nicole nodded, a wide smile on her face, heart fluttering in her chest.

 

A loud bang to Nicole’s right broke her out of the moment and she jumped what felt like a foot off of the chair, hand clutching her chest. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that Waverly had jumped towards Nicole, who had unconsciously thrown her other arm out in front of Waverly protectively.

 

Nicole turned to find Wynonna standing there looking between her and Waverly, dark blue eyes eventually landing on Nicole. Nicole was frozen in place, and not because of the murderous look in Wynonna’s eyes...mostly, but because she was worried what this meant for her and Waverly’s new agreement. Would it change now her sister had obviously heard the end of their conversation?

 

“Jesus, Wynonna, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Waverly snapped.

 

The files Wynonna had dropped onto the desk toppled to the floor scattering papers and photos everywhere.

 

“Shit,” Wynonna hissed bending down and picking them up.

 

Waverly gave Nicole a sympathetic smile before she walked over to her sister to help. The moment was gone. Nicole dropped back into her chair and tried to ignore the eyes she could feel burning into her back.

 

***

 

Waverly pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and her index finger, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to soothe the dull thudding behind her eyes. Waverly couldn’t remember the last time she had a good night's sleep.

 

If she really let herself think about it she probably could. It was the last night she had spent with Nicole. That ache that had been looming in her chest for months grew as Waverly remembered what it was like being wrapped up in Nicole’s arms, how safe she felt there. If she thought about it hard enough Waverly swore she could still feel Nicole’s arms wrapped around her.

She pushed the thought out of her head and ran her fingers through her hair, attention back on...whatever Dolls and Wynonna had been talking about. Waverly hadn’t even been listening, she was just so...exhausted.

 

Waverly fought back a yawn, blinking before she propped her head up with her hand, biting back a sigh.

 

“Hey, you look like you could use this,” Nicole smiled, holding a mug of coffee out for Waverly, “I made a fresh pot.”

 

“My hero,” Waverly breathed, her voice a little sluggish, taking the cup and cradling it in her hands before taking a sip.

 

Nicole lingered next to Waverly quietly. Waverly could sense there was more Nicole wanted to say, it practically radiated off of her. Waverly raised her eyebrow looking up through her lashes, the cup still in front of her mouth.

 

“Got something on your mind, Haught?” she said playfully.

 

Nicole turned so she was facing Waverly, a serious look on her face. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Dolls’ booming voice. Waverly jumped, tightening her grip on her cup, coffee sloshing around the sides coming dangerously close to spilling over.

 

“Earp. Haught. I need you both to stay here,” Dolls instructed them, “Waverly, I need you to go through these files and mark down any names that are on both lists,” he said dropping a folder on to the desk in front of Waverly before turning to Nicole and handing her the other folder, “and in this file.” Dolls finished with a tight lipped smile, looking between Waverly and Nicole.

 

Waverly opened the file and picked up the first sheet of paper, scanning through the list of names as she drank her coffee. Her eyes stopped short on one name in particular.

 

_Carmen Perez_

 

Waverly’s chest tightened and she felt like she couldn’t breathe, almost choking on her coffee. She hated that even the sight of Carmen's name sent fear coursing through every inch of her body. Her mind raced with memories of when she had been held captive. The conversation continued around her as Waverly tried to ignore the fear she could feel creeping up her spine, memories flashing behind her eyes every time she blinked.

 

“Jeremy and I are going to go back to the abandoned mines and see if we can find anything,” Dolls said, knocking Waverly out of her head.

 

“Wynonna, Doc, I need you guys to head back out to the woods. We’ve had another missing persons report come in this morning. Same M.O as the others.”

 

“That's a mighty big area, Deputy Marshall, did you have any place in particular where you would like us to begin our search?” Doc asked kicking his feet off of his desk to stand.

 

“Jeremy has marked down the area where people have reported most of the strange sightings,” Dolls replied, throwing him a rolled up piece of paper Waverly assumed was a map.

 

“What are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road,” Wynonna walked towards the door, clapping Dolls on the shoulder as she passed him.

 

Wynonna stopped in front of Waverly eyeing her for a moment before she leaned in and whispered, “You okay there, baby girl?”

 

“I’m good,” Waverly lied, suppressing a yawn.

 

Wynonna nodded and straightened up throwing a warning glance towards Nicole before leaving the office, Doc close behind.

 

“Jeremy.” Dolls called as he made his way towards the exit.

 

“Yeah? Right. Yep, coming,” Jeremy mumbled following the other man.

 

Too lost in her own head it took Waverly a few moments before she realized it was just her and Nicole left in the room. The redhead was keeping a respectable distance like she always did. It was moments like this where she missed Nicole the most. Missed her more than in a friendly way. It reminded Waverly that she was still _her Nicole_....the Nicole she had fallen in love with.

 

Waverly shook her head and forced the images of Carmen from her mind. She’d already taken enough from her, Waverly reminded herself. Things were starting to go back to normal...well a new normal? Honestly, Waverly was still adjusting to being Nicole’s friend and not because she found it difficult to be around the other woman, rather the opposite. It was difficult to be around Nicole and not reach out for her, to pull her close and kiss her. That desire for Nicole still felt so natural to her, even now.

 

Waverly watched from the corner of her eye as Nicole sat down at the desk across from Waverly, heart clenching in her chest, longing to close the distance between them. She could just invite Nicole over, so they could work through the file together. It made more sense for them to sit at the same desk. At least that's what Waverly told herself.

 

“What are you doing all the way over there?”

 

Nicole’s head snapped around to Waverly a small smile on her face, “I thought that-” she started, pointing at the folder in front of her.

 

“I don’t bite, Nicole,” Waverly smiled, heart beating a little faster.

 

Nicole laughed and pushed herself up out of the chair picking the file up as she rolled the chair towards Waverly’s desk before sitting down again. All the while Waverly was watching her, unable to tear her eyes away.

 

Waverly leaned forward into Nicole’s space telling herself it was just to get a better look at the names on the file. The scent of vanilla dipped doughnuts engulfed her senses. Her eyes dropped briefly down to Nicole’s lips and back up to brown eyes watching her, confused.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Mhm,”  Waverly nodded clearing her throat, “just tired.” Waverly finished silently hoping Nicole wouldn’t ask her why.

 

She had decided weeks ago when Nicole had walked her back to her car that she wasn’t going to tell Nicole about her nightmares. It had almost slipped out on their walk back but instead, Waverly clenched her jaw against the confession. Nicole didn’t need to know about them. Not yet anyway, everything was too raw and she knew Nicole would shoulder the guilt and carry it around with her. They had only just started to fix things and the last thing she needed was to add more to the mix.

 

Waverly could see Nicole wanted to ask her more, but she didn't. Instead, she opened the folder, pulling out a photo with a sheet of paper clipped to the back. Presumably more suspected cult members.

 

“Ready?” Nicole asked

 

No,” Waverly groaned.

 

“Suck it up, Earp,” Nicole smiled, dimples popping, as she gently nudged Waverly’s body with her own, sending a spark of electricity shooting through Waverly. Her heart thundered in her chest.

 

“Bite me,” Waverly smirked nudging Nicole back, both of them settling into a comfortable silence as they started to work their way through the list of cult members.

 

***

_Can I come over?_

 

Nicole stared down at the phone in her hand, reading Waverly’s text again. She had reread it so many times she’d lost count. A mixture of excitement and fear bubbled in her chest. Her heart beat at an unsteady rhythm.

 

Things between them had been great recently. They had been flirting back and forth for weeks and only growing closer. Sure Wynonna was still lurking around keeping a close eye on Nicole, but for the most part the eldest Earp had backed off. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if that was Waverly’s doing.  

 

Calamity Jane jumped up and started rubbing her face against Nicole’s leg meowing for attention almost as if she could sense her owner’s nerves. Nicole reached out to stroke the ginger tabby, scratching her chin. CJ  purred approvingly. Though it did little to calm Nicole’s nerves.

 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Nicole was on her feet in an instant, almost knocking the cat off of the couch as she did. Her feet were already carrying her towards the door before her mind had chance to catch up.

 

Nicole opened the door to find Waverly standing on her porch, eyes red and puffy.

 

“Waves, whats wrong?” Nicole asked, instinctively pulling the other woman into a hug, forgetting herself.

 

Waverly’s body shook against her own as she held her close. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Waverly’s sobs quieted and she pulled back to look up at Nicole through her lashes. Waverly opened her mouth to speak before closing it again, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Waverly shook her head squeezing her eyes shut and causing fresh tears to fall down her cheeks.

 

Without another word Nicole helped Waverly into the house, closing the door behind her, guiding Waverly to the couch and taking a seat next to her.

 

“I-I’m sorry,” Waverly sniffled, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“I fell asleep and I-. When I woke up I couldn't find Wynonna and I panicked so I-. I came here,” Waverly managed, tears falling down her cheeks.

 

Nicole held her hand out for Waverly with a soft smile on her face, “shh, Waves, its fine. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm here, you're safe,” Nicole soothed her.

 

“I’ve been having nightmares,” Waverly blurted suddenly catching Nicole off guard.

 

“For how long?” Nicole asked, her stomach twisting with guilt.

 

“Months...ever since I-.” Waverly tried as a fresh wave of tears started to fall.

 

Nicole flexed her fingers against her thigh, unsure where to put her hand. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around Waverly and hold her, let her know everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t, she’d already overstepped once since Waverly had arrived and she didn’t want to push her luck any further. Especially when Waverly was finally starting to open up to her.

 

“I’m just so exhausted, Nicole,” Waverly sighed, “Every time I close my eyes I’m back in that room, chained up being...being tortured,” Waverly cried.

 

Nicole gently placed her hand over Waverly’s unsure how else to comfort her without overstepping or making her feel uncomfortable.

 

“Have you told anyone else about them?”

 

Waverly shook her head, “Only Wynonna.”

 

Nicole nodded slowly, trying to process everything, her heart breaking in her chest as she looked at the woman she loved, fear and pain swimming around hazel eyes, wishing she could take it away.

 

Nicole watched as hazel eyes dropped to her hand over Waverly’s. Panic shot through her and just as Nicole was about to pull her hand away Waverly turned her own so it was palm up, lacing her fingers with Nicole’s and looking up at her with a sad smile.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Nicole’s heart swelled in her chest at the look on Waverly’s face. She hadn’t seen Waverly look at her like that for a long time. Nicole pushed it to the back of her mind for now. It wasn’t the time. Waverly needed her.

 

“Of course, any time, Waves,” Nicole said with a half smile.

 

No wonder Wynonna hated her. To be honest if Nicole was in Wynonna’s position she probably wouldn’t like herself very much right now either. How many sleepless nights had Wynonna had to stand by and watch her sister suffer?

 

Nicole let her head drop, defeated. This whole mess was her fault. Waverly was in pain because of _her_ and there was nothing she could do to fix it.

 

“I’m so sorry, Waverly, for everything. I made a huge mistake and if I could take it all back I would,” Nicole said fighting back her own tears, “I was so scared that I was going to lose you if you found out the truth and I thought I could protect you-”

 

Waverly moved closer to Nicole catching her off guard. She looked up through wet lashes to see Waverly looking back at her, eyes soft and focused on Nicole like she was the only other person in the world. Nicole’s breath caught in her throat, heart rattling against her chest.

 

Waverly lifted Nicole’s chin cradling it between her thumb and forefinger. Hope ignited in Nicole’s chest and the world faded out around them, seconds stretching into minutes...or so it seemed.

 

“Nicole, I forgive you,” Waverly said softly, smile pulling at the corner of her lips.

 

Nicole’s heart swelled in her chest until it burst, warmth washing through Nicole’s entire body like a wave hitting the shore. The weight Nicole had been carrying around with her for 6 months suddenly lifted.

 

Everything slowed down around them as Waverly leaned in and kissed Nicole gently, stealing the air from her lungs. The kiss was over as quickly as it had started, before Nicole had a chance to react. Nicole sat there for a moment dumbfounded, lips slightly parted, her mind racing to catch up. She leaned in again, hovering just shy of Waverly and watching closely for any sign she might pull away.

 

Nicole paused to absorb the moment, the way Waverly’s shallow breath tickled her top lip, the way her perfume filled Nicole’s lungs breathing life back into her soul and the way Waverly’s hand felt against her skin as she gently stroked Nicole’s cheek with her thumb.

 

Finally Nicole captured Waverly’s lips with her own, pouring everything into it. All the secrets, longing and pain dissolving into it.

 

“I missed you,” Waverly whispered, resting her forehead against Nicole’s.

 

“I missed you too,” Nicole smiled, eyes closed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanted to yell at us you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/iamthegaynerd) and [Tumblr](https://thenerdyemo.tumblr.com/). I can't take all the blame though so make sure you stop by Boots' [Twitter](https://twitter.com/bootsncatz) and [Tumblr](http://bootz-n-catz.tumblr.com/) to share the love.  
> Thank you for reading!


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